You are most likely a hopeless romantic following my blog for an instant emotional and intellectual connection within yourself. My recent blog posts may have helped you release your daily stress from work, school or taking care of children. Possibly, you could have all three of those emotional burdens hindering some time alone for yourself. You may argue that you do manage your time wisely to schedule personal time alone from reality, however it is only limited to meals, showers and sleep. It is unfortunate that my presence is absent to fulfill your innermost desire for physical touch and the embrace of two bodies with legs intertwined by engaging in no strings attached snuggling. There is a guarantee that you can find someone else who will make you completely comfortable with that taboo concept of snuggling with strangers. You may decline to take part in the latest trend to market your snuggling skills as a professional cuddler, like the woman in New York who owns The Snuggery, but there are people willing to snuggle free of charge.
Jacqueline, the founder of The Snuggery, has a chart provided on her website that discloses the rates and services. You can have a complete hour with her for only a dollar a minute. If you choose 45 minutes, you lose $5 for jumping off the bed too soon. Do you have a ménage à trois preference? You can double the cuddle ratio for twice as much for another professional cuddler to join you. Honestly, two people can save $180 to cuddle with me for more than 180 minutes. Yes, this is a personal advertisement, please ask for applications in the comment section below. I will also mention that age is just a number because snuggling is not sexual, it is sensual.
The concept of no strings attached snuggling has stirred up some controversial questioning on the sensual vs. sexual debate. My primary focus is to step into the cold shower from the last three posts that I have written and focus on the sexual misconceptions of no strings attached snuggling. I will also be laying out the differences between sensual play vs. sexual play to help refine those questionable areas. I define play as participating in an active role in having consensual fun.
First, let us step away from imagining the vulnerable dependency with our five traditional senses in the bedroom. Secondly, let us put aside the Lover’s Christmas List which perfectly transitioned into the most explicitly written post. We can go back to the seductive sensualist approach later. I hope all of those posts relaxed you to reconnect with your comfort zone and allow you to sleep well for the night you read them.
What is no strings attached snuggling? How is it different engaging in sex with no strings attached? How do you lay out the rules and restrictions for no strings attached snuggling? How can you say that snuggling does not lead to sex, while many others arguably say that spooning does? How will I ever be sure to find someone who will respect me and my decision to only subject myself to platonic snuggling? Should I let them caress my shoulders or arms? Should we hold hands and occasionally massage each other’s wrists and fingers? What happens when the person takes an advantage of me? Do I slap them? These are only a few of the questions that arise around this trending sensation. I will try my best to answer all the ones I mentioned and hopefully clear up the sexual misconceptions surrounded by this sensual activity.
According to UrbanDictionary.com, no strings attached snuggling is accurately defined:
“Snuggling or sleeping together with no real intention of having any intimate time. Can turn sexual by accident but generally just a platonic relationship for the mutal [sic] benifit [sic] of enjoying sleep while being close to someone. More common in winter, where single men and women attempt to keep warm. Sometimes wrongly interpreted as Friends with benifits [sic]. No strings attached snuggling wether [sic] platonic or not generally has no after-sleep awkwardness or strings.
Although snuggling does not necessarily mean sleeping, it does lead into being relaxed and comfortable with each other which may result to falling asleep in each other’s arms. If you cannot fall asleep, but simply embrace this temporary physical bond that you two have created, you might be stuck in a place where you are wide awake in the early morning right before your parents wake up for their caffeine fix. Hopefully they can accept your “sleep over” by avoiding the twenty questions of whether or not seeing you sleeping next to someone else was just as they perceived it, especially in your bed. If you are a male in your twenties, questioning protection will definitely be top priority. If you are a young woman, this great idea for a sleep over was not the best decision after all. If you are much older, out on your own, there really isn’t much to worry about other than waking up to the weekend with someone physically appealing. Go back to bed and let them stay where they are.
Now, intimacy is a different path to understand. If you have snuggled with your best friend for a while, you cannot say that you have no intimacy within that relationship. Intimacy requires a closer relationship with the person by effectively understanding them better through warmth and affection. As an experienced person with no strings attached snuggling, I have a tendency to show warmth and affection regardless if I barely know them. I do it under the consensual conditions that we are both relaxed, comfortable and willing to exchange little perks of affection to help relieve stress and entice the release of hormones throughout the body, like serotonin. The feeling of physical and emotional compatibility will generally offer more affection to those who fit my qualifications. If I go out of my way to become more affectionate, understand that I have feelings for you. This is only common when I have a strong attraction for you earlier in stages of our relationship, or a gradual acceptance over a few months of spending time together. Everyone has different perceptions on intimacy, however it is entirely up to them to talk about what they can and will not accept when you snuggle together. Discuss this with them and find out all the restrictions. Maybe they will allow forehead kisses, Eskimo kisses, cheek kisses, butterfly kisses, and chin kisses. Communication cannot be emphasized enough – just talk to them.
According to the Snuggery’s Policies and FAQ, there is a mandatory first meeting time before you experience snuggling with Jacqueline to discuss these same policies and make sure the clients are comfortable in pursuing your intentions for no strings attached snuggling. She does reassure you that “although sexual activity is not permitted,” she mentions that arousal is “perfectly normal and should not make anyone feel uncomfortable.” The exchange of communication is also mentioned, and should only be up your personal preference whether you wish to talk during your session or not. Yes, everyone has their own personal preferences for everything they do, especially when they subject themselves to something physically and emotionally mutual. However, we must control ourselves with platonic intentions, unless you wish to pursue the sensual intentions mentioned earlier. I would recommend it if you are completely aware of the situation and how you both will move on from this experience without being emotionally hurt. Discuss the circumstances and the “what-if” scenarios. If you knew that you would crave more of their sensual touch after that night, leaving you left with unrequited love or the lack of a mutual exchange, you will definitely feel left out. Be extra careful with your feelings on this one. I will also emphasize that you should never do something or say something that you know will cause a significant impact on their emotions and feelings. This is not a moment to lead anyone on. That is the least of their concerns. Although it might sound ideal to just embrace sleeping with someone with no other intentions, people will seek more options to explore. Discuss this with either the person you barely know or your lover for that cuddle session. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may take an advantage, but that does not necessarily mean it is right. Let them know. This also goes with marital concerns. Please understand the controversial topic of marital rape. It is a matter of self-control and being assertive. Lay out the barriers, respect each other’s requests, and do not attempt to alter any decisions. If you have animals, why would you decline their offers? We all know you are comfortable about this one! Just take it and appreciate it! Your bundle of fur will hold a grudge if you ignore them. I suppose that also goes to everyone else.
How can you say that snuggling does not lead to sex? Communication. Draw the fine lines between sexual and sensual. Kissing does not necessarily have to lead to sex either. Chocolate covered strawberries are also blamed for enticing something sexual to occur. Is it your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse? Just communicate. Tell them to cool it down and accept it as it is. Is it a summer fling, no strings attached night out on the couch, or someone temporary? You may barely know each other, but be open about this now. Lay out your expectations! Yes, if you spoon with someone, it may cause some arousal. Embrace it as a product of your emotions. Never use it to your advantage. Discuss and convey everything about yourselves. Why would you even bother to ignore important information like that?
How will I ever be sure to find someone who will respect me and my decision?
Communication. I cannot emphasize enough on exchanging ideas and concerns with each other.
Should I allow caressing?
If there is a consensual decision to allow caressing shoulders and arms, let it happen. The feelings will be greatly enhance during your physical embrace. If you are willing to hold each other’s hands, occasionally massaging their wrists and fingers, discuss this with them. Honestly, if you are not looking forward to feeling the extra perks of snuggling with someone, grab a pillow!
Lastly, when is the caressing too much? How do I let them know that I am uncomfortable?
Everyone has boundaries and expectations. Do not cross over the boundaries by violating the expectations. You should have laid out the rules and expectations before you decided to snuggle with each other. Guys, your sexual arousal is completely natural. Do not assume to share the latest news that recently popped up – literally. Ladies, your sexual arousal is completely natural. Do not assume it is completely fine to entice the moment by slowly grinding against him. You are officially a tease. Most guys would love to feel that tease, but others may take it the wrong way. If they take an advantage of you by allowing their hands to wander, stop them. That simple. If you are in relationship with them, never feel obligated that you should continue. Yes, although they might enjoy it, just slap them.
Snuggling is a sensual act of two bodies pressed closed together. You want to feel their warmth through the exchange of body heat. You crave that security blanket of physical and emotional sensation of being with someone. Try it out with everyone you feel comfortable inviting into your personal space. I am always interested in rekindling high school crushes or finding someone brand new to share these warm urges during the holiday season. We are all mammals craving for that sensational feeling of physical touch. Embrace the opportunity, improve the experience. Friends will refer to what you are doing as “friends with benefits” while you can reassure to them that they are friends with explorative opportunities. Although I will not dive into the concept around friends with benefits, I will briefly explain sensual play vs. sexual play. I define play as participating in an active role in having consensual fun. Sensual play can lead into foreplay, but it is not necessarily mandatory for this moment. A sensualist craves stimulating their senses, while sexual play has overwhelmingly taken over everyone’s mind to assume that sensual is sexual. The appreciation for the act of snuggling can push aside the idea that being sexual is a catalytic spark that can suddenly deteriorate relationships. When someone finally realizes that there is so much more to a relationship than being in the bedroom, communication improves the growth and development of everything established.
A Mini How-To Guide on Snuggling Improvement
How do I improve snuggling? Well, simply embrace the S.N.U.G.
Socialize. Pillow talk without the post-sexual feeling.
Negotiate. Ask for more time, ask for a closer position, and talk about places outside the house for snuggling.
Understand. Just stop, and admire. Understand what their body is telling you. Watch non-verbal cues through their eyes and facial expressions.
Gather. Take all the mental notes you can. Never assume that you know everything. Knowledge is power, especially when you notice the smallest details and then bring them up in the next conversation. They will be very surprised that you bothered to pay close attention. That shows a sign of being a priority over being an option.