Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013

Happy New Year! Wait, does that traditional phrase  jinx our chance at love this year? Are there any hopeless romantics dusting off their sleeves for their heart to breathe through one last year of hope?

According to StatisticBrain.com, falling in love fell at #9 for Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2012. Is 2013 your time to shine for romance and a long-term commitment? Although the recent study published from the University of Scranton in the Journal of Clinical Psychology did not show the participant sample that represented Americans, as a whole, these  New Year’s Resolution Statistics for 2012 might show that hope is running out very quickly for this year. According to the study, relationship related resolutions fell at the bottom of the categories at 31%. What matters more than finding Mr. Right? Self-improvement, weight related concerns, and money resolutions!

I am sorry, but I cannot help you with weight loss or financial assistance. I can give you encouragement to train yourself harder every day, but you will eventually snap at my advice because I am not there running with you. It may seem as if I am running against you. I can also help you become frugal, but who am I to control your lifestyle and the spending involved throughout the year? I will, however, help you with self-improvement and then the relationship building for 2013.

Polish Your Romantic Résumé

What the hell is a romantic résumé? Does Cupid have a romantic résumé, or how about Prince Charming? Mr. Right’s romantic résumé is extremely outstanding to read! Ladies, talk about overqualified!

Everyone has a passionate side about relationships, regardless how prude or introverted they are around their own peers. It is completely natural and very common to hide these ideas for their own personal preference. We are all human, and we all have romantic tendencies to engage and indulge in something that will arouse our senses. This could be a simple butterfly kiss on the forehead to something more playful and seductive if done right, like Eskimo kisses.

Now, when was the last time you have ever felt intimacy with another person? Let’s break it down into categories called bases. How many times have you allowed someone else, or yourself, to go to first base? Second base? Third? How about some grand slams, or home runs? Maybe you’re just a rookie who needs some pointers. That’s fine. Let me help before you step up to the plate once again – or at least, for the first time professionally. Sorry boys, this isn’t Little League anymore.

Check out my romantic résumé below. I have used my real name, my real email address, and partly some of my residence. Sorry, don’t get me wrong, I love intimate encounters with strangers, but I do not encourage those surprises! My linguistic skills and my interests are accurately written as well. I have provided a sample of how you will discover your strengths and weaknesses by laying them out in a professional format:

Anthony Terragna

Email: tony.terragna@gmail.com

69 Lover Lane

1 – 800 – ROMANCE

East Hartford, CT, 06118

CAREER AIM     Specialization in Sexology and Linguistics

EDUCATION

08/2008 – 08/2012         PhD in Passion, Romance and Seduction Studies, University of Seduction, 2012

WORK EXPERIENCE

2003 – Present       Phone Sex Operator

Achieved outstanding customer service with women in search for romantic, intellectual indulgence of passion over the phone. The instant gratification of passionate language and seductive techniques will always be guaranteed. A catalyst for irregular heart beats, hazy eyes, loss of voice, dry mouth, giggling or pure silence, bottom lip biting, wandering hands, and closed eyes imagining a vast array of erotic fantasies.

LINGUISTIC SKILLS; EUROPEAN, MIDDLE EASTERN, AND EAST ASIAN

East Hartford High School

Manchester Community College

University of Connecticut 

Spanish 4 Honors

1 Non-credit Introduction to Arabic night course during high school

Elementary Arabic I

French 3 Honors

Elementary Chinese I

Mandarin Chinese 1

Intermediate to Advanced French instructed courses

INTERESTS / SCHOLASTIC ACTIVITIES / AWARDS

Undergraduate: University of Connecticut American English Language Institute (UCAELI) Conversation Partner volunteer committed to the enrichment and exchange of interpersonal communication in English with native Mandarin, Arabic, Korean, and European speakers (2012)

High School: 1st Recipient Outstanding Six Year Student in World Language (2008)

High School: Department Scholar Plaque E.H.H.S. 2008 Presented for Excellence in World Language

Undergraduate: Primary Applied Foreign Language Certificate of Achievement in French (2011)

Emotional Baggage

Does a romantic résumé include past relationships under work experience? Any potential employer, or prospective partner,  would love to see how long your relationships might have lasted, but that is not necessarily conveying the overall quality of  each one. Now, what if you didn’t have any experience in the love department? Maybe your experiences hindered your ability to do better, and now you have bad work habits.  How do you refine yourself from those experiences? If you are willing to let go of emotional baggage, let me know.

You need to discover yourself before you discover everyone else. You need to find your strengths, weaknesses, and insecurities. You need to face everything and anything that may hinder your chance at finding the most suitable partner for your life. I am willing to help you find yourself, and your soul mate.

If I have enough interest from my hopeless romantic viewers, I will share my secrets of success at relationship building. Keep in mind – you will build your own relationship from within before you tackle one with someone else. You will feel confident, independent, and beautiful in what you do and what you say when you naturally market yourself for a successful relationship. This process will not force you in any way to step out of your own comfort zone. If you are introverted, I will suggest something to help you open up more. If you are extroverted, maybe you need a suggestion to cool down from being too open with people. If you have any problems along the way, it’s not you – it’s them.

Vote for change in 2013! Vote now! If you aren’t sure, fine. Let me know that you still read this article. I may count the “not sure” votes as “maybe” votes. Then, I will post the results and start refining relationships. Everyone is different, but we all have similarities and differences. This is a challenge, but it is well worth the wait.

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Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013

23 thoughts on “Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013

  1. Wow! How can someone have “fall in love” as a resolution. Perhaps they don’t know the meaning of the word: a firm decision to do or not to do something. I am quite certain that people don’t “decide” to fall in love. That makes love sound contrived.

    As usual, your post is so witty and profound! Bravo!

    My New Year’s resolution has been filled; My resolution is to not make a resolution…
    😉

    1. Ah, love. What is love? How does one wish for it? Most movies have genies or fairies that cannot grant love from happening. Regardless how the wisher feels about a person, it has to come natural. The cultural awareness of unrequited love is definitely noticed in the media, but how many people bother to focus? I’ll give you some insight – I will have a future post in a few weeks about finding love on the Internet. You will definitely love it.😉 It is also nice to see something like that weeks before Valentine’s Day, or Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D). I must have plenty of drafts awaiting to be published. The question is – when? Thank you so much for your feedback! I wish you the best of luck in living life to the fullest one heart beat at a time. Go out, and do YOU. The spontaneous, inspiring young you that we all love.😉

  2. LOL Tony this is a great post, but I must ask how you can help someones love life when you yourself are also single? Also, you touched on emotional baggage, but what about baggage baggage? There are more kinds of baggage that can and has stopped relationships. We all have some, so how do we find someone willing to not only accept it, but to help unpack it once and for all?😉

    1. I’m glad you caught on!😉 I might have been single for six years, but I’ve been casually dating for at least five of those years. I also have my eyes on someone for the last couple months. We’re keeping it steady. I have a lot of recent experience from no strings attached snuggling (hence: http://wp.me/p2TeFs-bx) to passionate one night stands.

      I’m also glad you noticed the emotional baggage comment! Yeah, I am not much of an airport, but I handle more than my own. My friends are always coming to me for advice, and I had enough of that. I need to help them sort through it, and organize what needs to be kept and what should be forgotten. However, that’s extremely difficult. Definitely a challenge.

      I have effective strategies to offer to not just throw it away, but refine it to make us even better. My last girlfriend cheated on me, so what’s there to keep from that? Enough to know the signs of possible love affairs lingering throughout the house, and watch out for the smallest details to notice if your relationship is starting to deteriorate.

      Now, baggage baggage – away from emotional baggage. That’s definitely a personal subject. Are they depressed? Self-improvement. Are they clingy way too soon? Attachment concerns. Maybe they don’t have parental support? Then, one must be looking for a man or woman friendship to rekindle that unfortunate loss from their adolescent years.

      Now, because everyone has different levels of baggage, it will definitely be an airport around here. Some will have piles stacked up high on their backs, while others are buried alive underneath. This is not going to take one simple post. I hope to clear that out of the way now. Ha, that would be a miracle. However, I want people to open up more. This a blogging website, and we are meant to open up about our ideas for a reason. The main objective is to allow people to do what you are doing. Come out, and talk about it. I am ready to listen, and provide the feedback that I wish I once had from a supportive group.

      Day by day.😉

      1. Nicer answer, but I am referring more towards baggage that doesn’t just go away. Things like health issues, and debt issues, etc.

      2. Ah, yeah, I have that (student loans)! Well, the other day, I saw something inspiring on television. It was a young boy being recorded in the hospital before cancer took him in God’s hands. He cried to his parents, and his parents wanted to know what was wrong. He mentioned that he will never get the chance to marry someone. I always wondered why cancer patients were always the most inspirational. Most people take their lives as an advantage, but these people – they only have a faster flow of sand in their hourglasses. Yet, they are still optimistic about life. I wish I had that energy. I wish everyone had that much encouragement in life.

      3. Do you ever casually date? Maybe hang out with some friends? Get yourself all primped up ready to go out and have some fun with the ladies? Do you have fun before you wither up like a beautiful rose given off to the wrong guy? Maybe use your broadcasting voice? Ugh, I love it. 😉

  3. Thanks. I laughed. Prolly because (I think) I made such a resolution. i.e: “to fall in love” or worst “get a husband”. LOL. Cant help it but people around me are wishing that 2013 is the year for me. Truthfully I cant help it but to laugh at myself and your wittiness. Schooo clever..😉

    1. I am glad you flexed a few muscles reading it! Continue smiling. It’s not an accessory, it’s a priority. Start smiling more often this year without my help!😉 It’s simply the easiest and most effective exercise you could ever make yourself do without breaking a sweat! Ah, marital pressure. Wouldn’t you want to find someone compatible before making that permanent decision? Ha, it’s always great to dream and hope for the future beyond the current year. Well, 2013 is my Chinese year. I am a snake. I have yet to find out what will happen myself. I wish you the best of luck in finding Mr. Right.😉

  4. andaislu says:

    A romantic resume huh? Didn’t know that existed maybe thats where I went wrong lol and I’m totally staring at your IMVU avi pic right now >.>

  5. In my opinion seeking for Mr.Right isn’t what’s in the cards much these year for some as most would be interested in the development of their well being first.:) And the additional CV format is quite unique. A very nice read here.:) Cheers! Happy New Year!

    1. Ah, so maybe falling in love fell off the list this year? It might have been #9 for last year’s top ten resolutions, but that could have been the last time it ever surfaced. Thank you. I appreciate your feedback! I wish the best of luck in everything you do in 2013! Take care, dear.

  6. […] Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013 – Yeah, I am serious about this one! Show me your romantic résumé! Are you confident enough to market your Shakespearean drive for love? What makes you a qualifying candidate for the girlfriend position? Do you deserve a six figure salary of unconditional love? Do you deserve promotional forehead kisses and occasional raises under the sheets in the morning?  I am all about quality, and I don’t settle for less. I want the same. I want my girlfriend to wake up confident that I am simply hers and only hers.  […]

  7. […] Life is a rewarding apparatus that provides countless obstacles, challenges, limitations, and opportunities to face. These situations are identified through a vast array of social, political, and economic influences. Work schedules can be tedious, tight, and overwhelming to plan anything exciting after work. If someone is tossing two jobs around, a personal note of appreciation goes to this workforce for their balancing act of eating healthy, maintaining work efficiency, and sleeping enough between and after their shifts. These productive individuals provide more tax paying power to our state and our country. Thank you for your support! Education can overwhelm the undergraduate, family influences can overwhelm anyone involved, and parenthood – let’s just move on. Although I am not a parent, from what I know, I was hired for my second job at a local grocery store down the street from my first job almost four months ago. I am still really stoked over this, and I am looking forward to staying productive with my time. Blogging has been pushed aside, but I am slowly coming back. I will try my best to blog at least twice a month when I get the chance. I wanted to submit an article by Valentine’s Day after reviewing all of the search keywords most people use to find my blog since January. I am intrigued to share search terms from several months ago to give you an idea of how people find my blog. A productive lifestyle filled with work and family has yet to hinder the free time people use to surf the Internet for dating and relationship advice. The following are search terms used via popular search engines to come across (no pun intended) this blog. Please note that these terms are also used to find pictures over the Internet. The first most commonly used term with 88 views will direct anyone to a picture of a young couple used for my blog article, “Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013.”  […]

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