A Caricature of Love; Prinze Charming’s Ideal Girlfriend

Danielle asks,

“Hey you! I’m actually wondering what you would look for in the ideal girlfriend? You always leave interesting comments on my blog so enlighten me.”


Hey, how are you? You might have realized by now that my two blogs are primarily focused on dating and relationships. Whether something intrigued your mind by some posts and  emotionally connected your heart by the explicit publications, you should have a mixed impression of what interests me the most about what I write. Then, you wonder how you should connect my posts to my personal love life. What is there to read between the lines?

Well, let me give you an exercise that will change your perception on the smallest details of language. The way people express themselves will always have more information than what was originally expressed. I will briefly summarize my posts for the last two months that I have been here. Then, you will instantly have an idea of my ideal girlfriend. It might seem as a caricature of love, but we all know those fun fair souvenirs are always distorted. Honestly, that is precisely how I feel about my soul mate. They are simply a caricature, and I am patiently waiting for their realistic image of perfection within my own eyes.

A New Beginning – Did I seriously say, “intrigue the mind, visually stimulate the soul, and manipulate the heart to work faster to entice and fulfill a hopeless romantic’s deprivation of a dopamine high” at the end? If that is a proposal from an author’s perspective, how would a boyfriend treat his own girlfriend that way?

Chaotic Intentions –  I discussed a lot of moves that would make an introvert uncomfortable, yet leaving her euphoric after my sensual dedication. Is being an introvert a disadvantage, especially romantically disadvantaged from bad experiences? What if they have a social bubble that cannot be popped? Is there a greater possibility of a relationship with someone who isn’t as passionate as I am? Confidence is sexy, but how far is too far for an extrovert to, literally, push me off the bed?

Suggestion B0x: How To Guides? –  As Roz from Monsters, Inc. would say, “Well, isn’t that nice. ” Yeah, this is a thankful post on Thanksgiving! It wasn’t as heartfelt as most have written that day, but it delivers the right message. Instantly, you think about the value of family and friends. I want someone who can value themselves and the people around them. I also want someone to express themselves effectively.  If you dig deeper into the meaning behind that, you would conclude that I want someone who would value unconditional love over materialistic love.

Symbolic Flames; Temporary Rush – Yes, I’ll admit, this was a filler post where I decided to add a picture for shits and gigs. This is nothing to brag about, but a moment where I was enjoying a backyard campfire with my dad. I just bought my camera earlier that year, and that was my first attempt at firetography. I heard a picture is worth a thousand words. How many words can you find through this poorly taken image? Hopefully, you look beyond the woman soon engulfed in flames. That will be for a deeper discussion. However, focus on warmth. Yeah, warmth might be temporary, but I want someone to rekindle my childhood by being as spontaneous as fire. I want someone to get the job down by burning through the day, but they also move away from the source. They move on from the past, and drift away in the wind. Oh, you should also reconsider the campfire if your neighbor has their white shirts out to dry. Yeah, I would recommend running away as fast as you can!

English: A young woman and man embracing while...

L.O.V.E – Listen, Organize, Value, Express? That sounds more like idealistic traits that will lead into love, and not being a writing technique! Oh, I might be on to something. When I mentioned that you should “listen to your heart before you write,” you should carefully read the rest of the post. This article will engage you with many ideas to think about, and characteristics that would pop out the most. Did you notice when I said something original and inspirational? A closer look:

“Baby, fear that I am here for only tonight, but hope that your butterflies can handle tomorrow’s hangover of yesterday’s fantasies.”

Yeah, did you get it? No, it’s not just a passionate or romantic qualification. Originality and creativity is another requirement. I want someone to speak their heart out without referring to quotes they once heard. I want a girlfriend just as poetic as I am.

The Ultimate Sacrifice for Love; Makes Sense to Deny Participation – Wow, what a warm post! If you didn’t spot any of my turn ons, you could have been easily distracted. That’s fine. It happens all the time! While I still have all my senses functioning, did you think about any possible characteristics that my ideal girlfriend would have? In the intimacy department, I would suggest this post. A concluding thought would be, “I want the woman willing to be a little girl out in the field of flowers, but also the one laying the petals along the bed at night.”

A Lover’s Christmas List; Top Five Things to Do in December – It’s plain and simple, ladies. Be spontaneous. Please? Is that too much to ask? No, there is no sexual part to this. Yes, please be affectionate. Do you have to bake? No, hence why I mentioned about the slice and bake cookies! Do you have to like the snow? Snow way! I just want to spend quality time with them regardless of the circumstances. If they can’t loosen up or balance their wild side, making things less awkward, I am not interested.

The Art of Seduction; Revealing the Sensualist Perspective – Seriously, if you did not feel any warmth from this post, I am not interested. If you are not comfortable with this post, I am not interested. I cannot emphasize enough on intimacy with this post. I want a girlfriend who can appreciate this post and understand that she is not a body to me. I want her to realize that she deserves more than just sex. I want to make love to her, and make her feel accepted through my actions. I want someone who can throw away their insecurities just to appreciate their fullest capabilities of being aroused. However, a really great point arose by one of my Word Press friends.

As Authorteasereadings mentioned, “Seduction is simple….keeping someone interested is the hard part …people are disposable…and yes, you may quote me.” I replied back, “I am glad someone else believes that too. You are precisely right! We have those who are seducible, but not interested. Then, we have those who are interested, but not seducible.” I want someone who can balance out being seducible and interested.

snuggling-nuggets (Photo credit: Spring Dew)

No Strings Attached Snuggling; The Trending Sensual Intentions Surrounded by Sexual Misconceptions – Whoa, was that a research paper or a blog article? Sorry, I miss Academia! I also miss snuggling. I have no strings attached snuggling when I can. I snuggled with someone I just met two days after Halloween last year. Was it amazing? Yes. A complete stranger pressed against me like two lovers after a long day at work. What more could I ask for? Sex? No! That would seriously ruin a simple embrace. In this post, I offered my S.N.U.G. technique to improve snuggling. Did you feel the hint or were you too busy listening to my heart beat faster? Yes, by the way, it is perfectly acceptable to snuggle with nuggets!

Lips Are Sealed; Holding Off a Perfect Moment with Bad Breath – Could I get any nicer than this? If you have bad breath, I am not being blunt about it. I will make the best of it under the circumstances of the stench. It takes away from putting her on the spot, and making things even more awkward. Regardless if you or I have bad breath, I would love to find someone who would still do what I mentioned in that post. If you’re my girlfriend, prove to me that you want to spend quality time together. If you’re too focused on everything around you, I am most likely going to notice and stop your chance at love with me.

Discovering Mr. Right; A Brief Analysis on Idealistic Male Traits – Touché! The amazing part of being a human is the complex personalities and characteristics we all share. If I am advocating for idealistic male traits, then there is a relevant connection to idealistic female traits as well. The transition is perfectly smooth. I hope the way I treat you comes back in return on how you treat me. That simple.

Ah, yes, Poetically Captivating’s first blog post, “An Erotic Masterpiece; A Painting of One Thousand Words,” was born. Now, I figured I would write a poetic blog, but this became my first blog postYeah, it’s not much of a standard poem, yet an erotic masterpiece of 1,000 words. Why? Well, I wanted to convey sensual romance and passionate love-making. If you couldn’t handle this, let alone the other previous explicit ones, I am sorry. You lost me. This was the last test to ask, “Are you ready? Can you handle my passionate side?” After a lot of re-blogs, I felt as if they all enjoyed what they read. You’re welcome! If you would like an audio version, by the way, please feel free to mention that in a comment below. Thank you for your suggestion. It would be quite convenient to upload it on your iTunes.

Architectural Relationships – Now, here’s the primary foundation of being a candidate for a prospective girlfriend. If you don’t understand my blueprints of architectural design in relationships, just leave. Seriously, the least anyone could do is follow these instructions to make sure to understand the difference between short-term and long-term commitments.

Floral Fixation covers the nurturing, stabilized side that I will always ask from an idealistic girlfriend. We covered snuggling as a physical touch, and then there’s an intimate sensual touch. However, this is a different touch. This is my proposal as a prospective boyfriend. If anything, just take it. I know this doesn’t sound much, but I want someone to take me as I am and what I have to offer. Do you feel as if I deserve someone better than you? Stop! Do you feel as if you don’t deserve someone as great as me? Stop! I had enough of those ridiculously stupid, yet hilarious excuses for breakups! Why would you ever allow yourself to lower your own standards? What the hell? I want strength and determination. Yeah, we have rough days, but when you have someone there for you – don’t ignore the opportunity or push it away. I am your boyfriend for a reason, but you fail to acknowledge it by worrying about what you shouldn’t have. 

Yu Hwang-Wu Caricature Hangul = 유황우 Hanja = 兪皇宇 Yu Hwang-Wu is a Korean foreign language expert, and CEO of Yu Hwang-Wu Korean Language Classroom, a Korea-based school of foreign languages (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thinking Outside the Fingers; Linguistic Enthusiasm and Cultural Awareness – Yeah, it was long. Yeah, I am extremely passionate about these topics. Honestly, not that I am against Americans, I wrote this post for my foreign viewers. I wanted to see what would happen if I mentioned anything about this on here in a diversified community. It was a pleasure to interact with someone with the same feelings as I do. This is another plain and simple concept to take from here. I want a culturally enthusiastic girlfriend with or without the linguistic or cultural background. If you want to travel, please dust off my passport. It needs fresh air! Would you like to learn a foreign language? That alone is an excuse to spend quality time together. If you make cultural jokes or stereotypes, being extremely offended over it is the least of your worries. However, I will most likely feel the urge to teach you something more useful about the culture or ethnicity you choose to describe.

Mr. Enchanting – Did you notice Mr. Enchanting’s initials? Don’t be that girlfriend who cheats on me with someone lower than what you deserve. Yeah, this poem was the complete opposite. It was bringing her out of the relationship to spend time with someone who will acknowledge her as a priority, not an option. Don’t ever let anyone push you down or walk all over you. I want someone stronger than that. No, that does not necessarily mean you are a bully to fight back, but someone who has thicker skin than the rest. You might have love scars, but I am not here to heal you on my own. Give yourself some credit to push yourself up from the ground. I’ll extend my hand, but you have to make that attempt of moving forward.

Parched Soul is the reason behind my commitment issues. I want a girlfriend, let alone a wife in this situation, who will be faithful to me. If you have excuses or lies coming out of a factory built inside your mouth, I will close it down myself without the force of the union. If we cannot set up a relationship before marriage, why should we have “concealed impressions upon exchanging vows” in the first place? You might say that you care, but you neglected me for whatever reason. Please, do us all a favor,  just let me go. I believe in quality time and unconditional love. If you waste my time doing something outside our relationship that might be malicious or distasteful, I have no interest in being with you.

A World Ending in Love; Squidward Tentacles Exchanged Vows with Pearl Krabs – The best thing you can do for me is smile. Show me that you have a sense of humor. Yeah, I mentioned creativity, but that can only extend to a limited distance.

Lastly, the New Year’s edition posts:

Twenty Less Than 3; A Compiled New Year’s Resolution Post has a brief discussion on love mentioning that it’s a, “cupid question” with “too many daggers, not enough aim.” What does that even mean? Let’s see if you’re right! Comment below and let’s see how imaginative you really are!

One Step Forward; A Brief Discussion on Controversial Resolutions for 2013 is about ambition and drive. Do you write your resolutions out? Fine. Do you follow them? Try again, tomorrow. As long as we are together, achieve what we desire to do, we can carry out more than just a silly compiled list of self-improvement.

Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013 – Yeah, I am serious about this one! Show me your romantic résumé! Are you confident enough to market your Shakespearean drive for love? What makes you a qualifying candidate for the girlfriend position? Do you deserve a six figure salary of unconditional love? Do you deserve promotional forehead kisses and occasional raises under the sheets in the morning?  I am all about quality, and I don’t settle for less. I want the same. I want my girlfriend to wake up confident that I am simply hers and only hers. 

Oh, one last thing, did you notice the work experience? How could you miss it?


2003 – Present       Phone Sex Operator

Achieved outstanding customer service with women in search for romantic, intellectual indulgence of passion over the phone. The instant gratification of passionate language and seductive techniques will always be guaranteed. A catalyst for irregular heartbeats, hazy eyes, loss of voice, dry mouth, giggling or pure silence, bottom lip biting, wandering hands, and closed eyes imagining a vast array of erotic fantasies.

If that intrigues you, I recommend a free trial if you are within the United States. I will not only guarantee pure euphoric connection, but you will sleep so much better than before.

Well, as I reach nearly 2,600 words to describe my ideal girlfriend, I appreciate your interest to ask a personal question. If you need anything else, let me know.

Enlightened? Great! Take care.

– Tony Terragna

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A Caricature of Love; Prinze Charming’s Ideal Girlfriend