A Road Trip on a Cul-de-Sac; Rekindling Relationship Butterflies

Megan asks,

” I would love to hear your opinions on how to make a relationship exciting again!  At the beginning, they are always so exciting and new and there’s always that mystery of, “when will he kiss me?” or “where will he take me to next?”.  As time goes by, it gets a little less exciting and new. What are you suggestions on this?”

Megan,

Great question! As I am preparing everyone for Valentine’s Day next month, the New Year might have started off with false hopes and sugar-coated resolutions. A girlfriend can only hope that her boyfriend changes his douchebag ways, while the boyfriend might also feel the same way about his controlling princess. Your blog suggestion is intriguing for several reasons.

First, this is one of the oldest, yet unfortunate issues of relationships. Most relationships will never be resolved with enough advice for self-improvement and readjustment. The mixed feelings and lingering doubts will only cause more harm for the couple in the future. Secondly, men and women have commitment issues. Yeah, let’s face it, nobody is perfect. Although we can acknowledge our mistakes, we should never make them as an excuse to make the poor decisions about love and commitment. Everyone should learn how to curtail the feelings that entice immoral decisions, like cheating or home wrecking. The second chance debate is extremely difficult to discuss, especially for those reasons previously mentioned. I do not support cheating, especially from being the victim of that unfortunate experience. I also despise breaks or relationship recess, because there is no point in bringing it up unless someone wants freedom. If someone requests a mandatory break, go outside for fresh air. When you are outside long enough, come back and reconnect. The red flag raises high when someone has no interest to rekindle their relationship’s butterflies.

I could understand why someone would move on to a brighter flame. If the spark isn’t there, why would you sing campfire songs alone? Although most people search for answers through friends and family, others might rekindle past relationships. They are already comfortable with someone else, and the mutual connection for each other is still there. If your sex life isn’t the greatest, or not existent, you might also face the lack of interest from your lover. The best way to prevent someone you love from renewing their subscription with someone else is to step in and take action. No, I am not telling you to confront them like your own episode on Jerry Springer. I am telling you to communicate with them. Tell them how you feel and ask them for any suggestions on what should be done.

Well, I have some suggestions on the next steps ahead to rekindle those giggly times and wake up that inner child from a tediously long wait for their crush to return. I am willing to share my successful strategies on finishing what you started. Hop in the front seat, we are going for a long ride!

Fresh Car Smell 

The car dealership is like a dating website where you find your soul-mate in the form of a brand new car. Guys, you know exactly what I am talking about! Check out her exterior! Whether you are a rims guy or ready to rev her engine, there is so much more to learn from your new experience. Where do you start from there? How do you keep your driving record clean, stable and reputable without going back for a new car? Precisely! You get your car checked at the local auto-body repair shop! Yes, that entails a lot of communication. Communication is extremely important for a relationship to continue its strength and spontaneity for several years. The relationship itself might not necessarily be the only problem. Could it possibly be the people involved? Yes! Is someone ready to drive off the cliff because someone suddenly changed since the first day? That is not only a possibility,  but that is an issue for self-improvement.

An online German company, Racheshop.de, is selling beautiful Shine Star air fresheners to help clear the air from the lingering past. Is it possible to do the same for a conflicting relationship? Of course! Ladies, I am not here to tell you to change who you are, but refine yourself to shine with your greatest potential. You should never settle for less!You are so much better than that! Guys, I am also telling you the same thing. Spice up your relationship with something new to admire and appreciate. How does that work for an arguing couple? Just stop. Life is way too short to fight all the time! Just take a moment, breathe and sort through your differences. Hopefully, your similarities and interests can come to a consensus for the following relationship rekindling strategies.

Exterior 

Does your ride need a pimped out opportunity by Xzibit? Well, unfortunately for you, the last episode aired on May 24, 2007. So, what is the next option? Try a new wardrobe change! If your budget is tight, make some time to run in the morning or at night in your neighborhood. No, seriously, this is cheaper than a gym membership! When you start feeling better about yourself and how you look, others will notice the gradual change in your appearance and attitude. Does your lover secretly want you to pursue a mini makeover? This is not as fancy as an extreme makeover, but just enough to make an unexpected impact on them. If exercise and diet isn’t an option, regardless of the circumstances, talk to them. Please understand why they are feeling the way they do, and what they miss about what you once had when you started talking. If this is an intimate issue, be open about it when you are both alone, and away from others.

The car manual is forever alone. This handy booklet is rarely taken out for attention from the glove compartment. Guys, I recommend reading my article, “The Art of Seduction; Revealing the Sensualist Perspective,” to understand her exterior the right way. If you had no idea in the beginning, or you need some advice to build on to your previous knowledge, treat that as a manual. Ladies, while he reads that, I recommend, “An Erotic Masterpiece; A Painting of One Thousand Words,” to patiently wait for his return. If that doesn’t work out for the exterior part of this post, then there is something wrong with the interior.

Interior 

You two have been together for a reasonable time. If the attraction is still there, there is a catalytic situation inside. What could be the catalyst for a sudden change in personality? Can idealistic traits deteriorate into undesirable ones? The social distractions of meeting new people or hanging out in different places might hinder interests.  People lose a lot of hope from being deprived of spontaneity with a pessimistic partner. They know they are with someone draining their energetic side into a dark hole of regret. The best way to resolve this issue is to seek help outside the relationship with people you can trust. If professional help seems a bit much, try some free advice with me.

I recommend opening up with each other by exercising your freedom of expression. If that isn’t enough, learn what love really stands for when you express yourself. That is the key to success in the health of your relationship. Now, how do you open up with someone distant? Try snuggling with them, and reconnect at a physical level before tackling the emotional level. If you engage in something sensual, keep it light. Relax and enjoy the quality time together. Then, reconnect with their passionate side. Everyone has one, but not everyone understands the powerful impact you can have with your senses. When you finally start talking, opening up more and exploring each other’s interests, you can move forward to casual dates out in public. Keep it simple like a walk in the park or take a city bus down to a local event. If you live in the rural areas, check out Mother Nature’s breathtaking appearance. Just stay away from the drama, and understand why quality time together is extremely important. Quality time together does not necessarily mean more sex!

Speed Bumps

Slow down! You guys are well over the speed limit! There is no excuse for your relationship to go full speed ahead when it starts heating up because something rekindled your passionate drive for each other. If your relationship hits a brick wall, someone is at risk for upsetting feelings. Try an incentive program in your relationship before you schedule too much intimacy in one week. You both overwhelm with lust, and you will only become dependent on those feelings. Keep the relationship balanced with unconditional and sensual love. Play games with each other to prolong the intimacy. Although Christmas has passed, I would suggest playing in the snow and baking cookies from my article, “A Lover’s Christmas List; Top Five Things to Do in December“. If you live in warmer climates, I suggested sand angels in that post as well. There are plenty of alternatives to help the growth and development of your relationship. Just keep it steady, and keep your eyes ahead of you . You must face the unexpected, and step down on the brakes as soon as something comes up.

Highway to Heaven 

Let’s run down the five basic strategies for rekindling those relationship butterflies. Let me show you what you should really ‘C’ out of this one:

  1. Continuing Commitment
  2. Considering Communication 
  3. Contributing Compliments
  4. Combating Conflicts
  5. Caressing Cuddles

Are We There Yet? 

Yes! Congratulations! You will be able to rekindle your relationship if you follow my article, engage with your lover, and sort out those differences with each other. If nothing seems to work after that, I am sorry to say, but it is time to give them a sincere breakup. Tell them, “We’re not romantically compatible, but I see no reason to end everything we have together.”

Detour 

In a concluding thought, there is a misunderstanding between domestic violence and tough love. I am here to sort things out, and put an end to that unnecessary abuse. Ladies, if he lays an aggressive hand on you, please tell someone you trust about it. Once is enough, and there should never be a second time. You should never allow a second time to happen by ignoring the first time. Yeah, I understand you’re scared to tell someone. Look, that is not tough love, but domestic abuse. In addition, marital rape is nothing to ignore. If anyone is aggressive to another person under, especially taking an advantage of being together, take further action. Never feel pressured to have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you feel obligated to do that with them. If you ever feel this way, regardless of the circumstances, organize your resources and talk to people about it. Thank you. I wish the best of luck in the health of all your relationships for 2013.

Take care.

Sincerely,

Mr. Charming 

If you have any blog suggestions, let me know! I love challenges!

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A Road Trip on a Cul-de-Sac; Rekindling Relationship Butterflies

31 thoughts on “A Road Trip on a Cul-de-Sac; Rekindling Relationship Butterflies

  1. Excellent! The car analogy is perfect for this topic. I am going to take all of your suggestions to heart and put them into practice. I just read the suggested reading “An Erotic Masterpiece…”. Ooh lala! There’s not much more I can say about that😉 You put a lot of time and effort into writing this article, making it eloquent and attractive, and considering my questions deeply. I really appreciate that you’ve done this!

    Best,
    Megan

    1. Yeah, I am not sure how I nailed the car analogy idea, but I am pretty impressed with what I came up with within the short amount of time. You are absolutely right about the effort though! I must have been all over the place with how much I should write, and what I should write about. This article actually rekindled a moment at UConn. I wrote a paper about sexual innuendos. I found an article in the Daily Campus with something creative like, “Rev up her sex engine.” So, it inspired me to write something for my English class.

      Thank you for that trip down Memory Lane. I would also like to acknowledge the fact that you will be taking this all with you and moving forward. Definitely a great start for 2013! Oh, if you enjoyed that, you are definitely a playful lover. You love to express your passionate side while releasing the unconditional love from within! Anyone would be fortunate to have you around! As a follower, you are quite the social butterfly.😉

      Take care!

  2. I love how you dig a little deeper than expected when you write. I agree with you btw. I also believe it is in the giving that you will recieve if the intentions are genuine and come from a loving place. Your words offer hope. I love that!!!!

    1. Thank you so much for acknowledging that! The upbringing is definitely a key factor for the “interior” section. If you are coming off a conveyor belt of a poor car manufacturing company, you will most likely have problems … down the road.😉 I appreciate your words of encouragement. I hope you have an amazing day ahead of you!

      1. I’m off to the movies to watch LesMiserable (I know I did not spell that right) then to the last class for this week. A perfect day!

  3. Fred Brunoise says:

    Communicate? Cuddle? Compliment? If the man’s bored, it’s worth a try for the woman. Men want that from women.

    But if it’s the woman who’s bored, that stuff doesn’t work with a woman who is bored with you. Women are not men. If they same things turned them on, all the guys I knew in college would have brought home a girl from every bar they walked into.

    If the relationship is in trouble, touching a woman who doesn’t want you to touch her will not help. I know a LOT of men in that situation. Every one of them has endlessly tried the advice you give, because it is the same advice EVERYBODY gives. It invariably makes things worse.

    It happened to me, a couple times. I tried the stuff you suggest. Didn’t work for me either. Made things worse. Never did, never will. Has it ever worked for you? No. Be honest. Have you ever met anybody in that situation who it worked for? No. Be honest. The failure rate is 100%. Search the whole internet. You will not find a single man who ever rekindled his woman’s desire for him by cuddling, complimenting, and communicating.

    Guys, he’s telling you to double down on failure. You already know that stuff isn’t working. When you do that stuff, she is clearly bored by it — or outright treats you like dirt. He’s telling you to try more of it. Well, she knows more about herself than this dude does, and she’s telling you she hates it. Right? She punishes you for trying to cuddle and communicate, right? The more you do it, the worse she treats you. Is that not exactly what happens, every time?

    So don’t do that. You know what she doesn’t want, and it’s exactly what you keep giving her. The least you can do is stop digging.

    But what DO women want? That’s easy: What are romance novel heroes like? Women have bought literally billions of copies of romance novels with strong silent heroes. They don’t romance women by cuddling, complimenting, or communicating. They’re confident, they lead, they’re happily masculine. Women can be attracted to men who lead badly (protip: I advise you to lead lovingly and well instead), but they are never, ever attracted to men who don’t lead at all. A little judicious cuddling, communicating, and complimenting will light her up if it’s a special treat coming from a strong man she’s attracted to. But coming from a man she doesn’t respect and look up to, it turns her off like a switch. “Respect and look up to” IS female attraction.

    Before you go overboard, note that romance novel heroes are just as exaggerated as porn starlets: Do not engage in actual swordfights. That’s only a turn-on in fantasy. In reality it’s psychopathic. Do not rip her actual bodice unless she’s given you multiple EXTREMELY clear hints that she’s into that. Just be a strong, confident real human being who doesn’t get arrested or shot.

    Read this post here. I read that a few years ago and saved a relationship which I had thought was utterly beyond saving (still going strong, too). As long as you don’t mistake leadership for being an a-hole, it’ll work for you. At absolute worst, if the relationship is too far gone (e.g. if she’s already cheated), you’ll come out of the wreckage with enough self-respect to get on with your life with a lot less resentment and anger and a real-world plan for doing a lot better next time around.

Speak your heart, proofread your mind.

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