Pushing Away Physical Intimacy; The Consequences of Playing Hard to Get Part 2

10 niveaux d’intimité dans les communications
(Photo credit: Emilie Ogez)

Interpersonal communication, regardless of the relationship status between the two conversationalists, is an effective skill for facilitating physical intimacy with another person. The level of social awkwardness, between socially awkward and awkwardly social, may hinder a person’s performance in achieving a physical and emotional connection. A social butterfly will have the comfort and flexibility to have alternative choices to move forward with the social interaction. The rising era of digital intimacy may entice two individuals to initiate an intimate textual exchange, but the new comfort zone has more challenging barriers for the introverts and extroverts to meet people from the Internet.

On January 21, 2013, a voluntary survey created in a blog post asked six core questions that will help the next article publication. The questions focused on social awkwardness, playing hard to get, concealing flirtatious intentions under the pressure of unrequited attraction, physical intimacy, making moves from a confirmed mutual attraction, and accepting awkward situations. All participants are aware that any of the information submitted is only for writing this article. All participants were aware that their names and blog website addresses are optional, and will only be used for acknowledgement if provided.

The following survey questions were not mandatory to answer, but it was greatly appreciated for any participant to completely answer all the questions to facilitate discussion.  If you have not contributed to this discussion, please feel free to answer the questions in the comment section below.

Survey Questions 

Question 1

Are you socially awkward or awkwardly social?

Question 2 

Do you play hard to get? Why? Why not?

Question 3

Yes or No? You tell someone attractive a flirtatious comment. You really aren’t kidding when you say, “JK!”. If yes, are you shy that they might not have the same feelings about you?

Question 4

How important is physical intimacy for you? If you have the confidence, would you want to entice and engage something with a complete stranger?

Question 5

If there was a mutual attraction for each other, both admitting that you really felt that way about the comments, would you make a move?

Question 6

Yes or No? A situation is only awkward because you accepted it that way.

Question Results 

Question 1 – 

Social awkwardness is commonly acknowledged throughout 57% of the seven responses for the first question. Two participants responded precisely as, “Not at all,” before explaining their reasoning behind their extroverted personalities. One participant described their social confidence is enough to plan social events with friends.  The other participant faces a common social barrier in the beginning by being shy, but extremely confident to converse when they reach their comfort zone. The socially awkward or awkwardly social participants explained their awkwardness very well. One participant faces social insecurities because of their social status of interpersonal communication. The best response was from a participant admitting to having socially awkward and awkwardly social characteristics. As a bartender, physical intimacy is normally achieved through flirtatious comments. However, an overwhelming complimentary place can push an individual into an extremely awkward situation. The exposure of complimentary and ritualistic language is easily identified in a public setting, but there is a concealed immunity from overexposure. If a woman experiences compliments every day, the desire for physical intimacy and attraction shifts aside. One participant did not answer the question.

Question 2 – 

The participants came to a consensus with playing hard to get under the influences of a maturity level, prioritizing time, and the comfort of the situation. The most intriguing discovery was when two participants mentioned about being coy in two completely different contexts. The majority believes that attraction is mandatory to acknowledge and confronted to avoid misleading someone on. If there is no attraction for a guy, playing hard to get might simply be the easy way of sending the message that they are not interested. One participant said they know exactly what they want, how they will get it, and when they will get it. A very intriguing response was that they do not play hard to get because they simply are hard to get. In addition, one participant is perceived as playing hard to get through first impressions of being awkward and uncomfortable.

Question 3 –

According to the responses, 71% of the participants responded negatively, while the remaining 29% agreed that they would not be kidding after giving a flirtatious comment. A consensus on how honesty towards someone with potential and interest for a prospective relationship is very important. However, one participant mentioned that they will say that they are just kidding only for the sake of attraction, but no potential interest for anything further. They believe that sending the mixed message would happen only if they did not mention that they were kidding.

Question 4 – 

A consensus of 71% all agreed that physical intimacy was very important, while the remaining 29% believed that physical intimacy requires an emotional connection or never experienced physical intimacy to fully appreciate it. In addition,  three participants would entice and engage something with a complete stranger, especially if that stranger was attractive. One participant believes that they will wait for physical intimacy if the guy has potential for a future relationship with them. Lastly, one participant mentions about the simplistic natural element of physical intimacy by mentioning that confidence is not necessarily mandatory for intimate encounters with random people. Therefore, the upbringing of moral and personal value of the individual has a lot to do with their decision for intimacy.

Question 5 – 

Although three participants agreed that they would make a move through acknowledging the mutual attraction, gender roles played a significant part within the context of the responses. The bold attempt to make a move has a few of the participants waiting for the other person to make their move first. Regardless of the circumstances, two participants believe that it is extremely attractive for the other person to make their move first.

Question – 6 
All participants agreed that a situation is only awkward because they accepted it that way. Therefore, nobody should ever feel awkward about something happening.
I would like to thank the following participants for their time:
I will conclude my final thoughts on this in Part III. Thank you.
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Pushing Away Physical Intimacy; The Consequences of Playing Hard to Get Part 2

8 thoughts on “Pushing Away Physical Intimacy; The Consequences of Playing Hard to Get Part 2

    1. Thank you! I figured it would be interesting to knock out a few survey questions with some volunteers, connect the answers together, and then see if there are any patterns. Maybe the socially awkward feel as if physical intimacy is important, or maybe the social butterflies aren’t too social with engaging in physical intimacy with strangers? In the last two months of blogging here, this was the best thing I have ever done. By engaging my audience to be a part of my own work, it has personal value. Thanks for stopping by!

  1. andaislu says:

    Hey Tony, I know you already did a survey and it was completed by seven but I’m going to answer them myself on my blog and link this for others too. Thanks!

  2. The title of your post really caught my attention. Some of my girlfriends say I play hard to get, but I really don’t. Every situation is different. Sometimes I need a “little” extra time to warm up to someone in that department, but hey, it happened that I warmed up really quick too. It usually depends on how much I care about seeing the person again.
    But what is your opinion is what interest me more than the survey … Can’t wait to read more!

    1. Haha, thanks for noticing the title! I am glad it caught your attention. My objective was successful! Yeah, you are absolutely right. Every situation is different. Sometimes you play hard to get for the right reasons, and other reasons you wished you could rewind. Your feedback was greatly appreciated. Thanks for sharing! Be sure to stay tuned for the next update on the blog publication for this! 😉

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