It’s Not Astrology, It’s Common Sense; Analyzing Dating Profiles for Compatibility

Forever Alone on New Years

It is finally a brand new year! You are still single, employed, and lonely after work. Perhaps, you are still a full time student,  single, and lonely after exams. What if you are in a relationship, regardless if you are married or not, but your partner pays little to no attention to you? That feeling of intimate detachment has mixed emotions in every situation. How do you overcome these feelings? How would you fill the vacancy between your arms?

In this blog article, I am going to pay closer attention to the people who are still searching for love without anyone there. If they cannot meet someone in person in a public setting, how will the Internet effectively guide the hopeless romantic into the right arms? I am going to explain how you can effectively analyze a dating profile with common sense. No prior astrological knowledge is required, or experience in dating. Be confident. Just be yourself. Just use your personal judgement through this How-To-Guide.

Catching a Glimpse of Potential

The local bars might give off the wrong one-night stand impression, and picking up someone near the ice cream freezers at the grocery store might cut into a recent breakup. The local bookstore might be a great idea, but without judging the book before they buy it, does the overall book section accurately define the individual’s personality? The guy is reading a book about studying abroad. That topic might sound adventurous, but that might also be an indicator for a prospective long-distant relationship. He might not even be ready to commit until his flight reaches his foreign destination. Bummer. Assumptions are always flawed and mixed emotions will eventually push individuals out of the comfort zone of meeting someone in a public environment. Ah, ignore the family suggestions or referrals from friends because the support network  is not qualified to play Cupid’s assistant.  The Internet is the last resort for love after all.

In the last five years, I have been analyzing social networking profiles with tolerance for diversity, patience for grammatical errors, and common sense for interpretation. There is a greater incentive to gain respect from someone if the visitor takes their time to read everything. Yes, including the part about disclosing the most private thing to tell the whole world. However, I have noticed that people try too hard in making first impressions. I have written plenty of first impression blog articles in the last year. Those articles should be pushed to the side this year.

Now, take a moment to just remove the obvious steps in making first impressions, such as stating the obvious because you read something.

“So, you like cats.” 

Congratulations, you proved to them that you are literate. I need you to focus on using a common sense analysis for the rest of the year. Guys, this is especially for you! If someone likes cats, think about the difference between a “dog person” and a “cat person.” If someone has both pets, that can be a little conflicting or extremely balanced. It all varies depending on their individual lifestyle. In general, I have a theory for how sensual cat owners compare to dog owners under the sheets. See Feline Foreplay for more details on how to use quality time with your cat to become more seductive with your lover.

Now, try focusing on these subjects of interest:

Personality Traits 

Whether it is big or small, everyone has an ego. It is how we identify ourselves without paying attention to insecurities or pride. Now, personality traits make up this identity. They also transition into our language. The word choices we make to express and convey our feelings will be the fine print of a dating profile.

Academic, Professional, and Social Struggles

“I am in school and I work.” 

Okay, in the context of word choice, that does sound a bit boring. Wait, what if they wrote the following sentence right after:

“Not to toot my own horn here but I’m pretty good at drawing lol”

Now,  you have an idea that they are sophisticated, hardworking, and passionate about the freedom of expression. How? School implies sophistication,  work implies hardworking, and the way they mentioned about drawing instantly conveys the concept of appreciating the freedom of expression. Why would I assume they are passionate about it? Well, they never mentioned that they like drawing. They mentioned that they are pretty good with it.  In general, anyone who is passionate about something will try to make the most of their effort to do well in whatever they do. Therefore, this example displays a few personality traits that were not directly expressed, but common sense highlighted them accordingly.

Try this one: 

“Rolling, Writting music, Fluent in Spanish, Agricultural Science, Making Drinks 😉 Dancing, Poetry, Oil Paints, Cooking”

Hopefully, we can all agree that this individual conveys the image of being an independent, expressive conversationalist, and someone with a spontaneous  energetic attitude that can warm up a kitchen. This person has great taste in productivity, time management, and lives life without a dull moment.

Just think about how we can interpret simplistic words into semantics, or meaning of the overall context.  However, try not to overwhelm the idea that you are ready to settle:

“No one wants to put in 100% and get nothing in return which is what I’ve been doing all this time with females on this website…”

We get it. You are tired of playing games. Maybe it was something you said in the private message? This message on your dating profile conveys the idea that you are desperately searching for someone. Stop. Just breathe. How much time have you invested in this hard labor of finding someone? Take that section out, give yourself a break, and get some fresh air. Then, go back and revise your dating profile. Evaluate yourself over again, but stay away from making it seem as if sending messages over a dating website is a daily chore for you. If you are looking for love and it was meant to be, it will happen over time. Just be patient.


If you are an undergraduate, whether you chose a major or remain undecided, education will always be mentioned on a dating profile. If you have already graduated, you will make sure the dating world knows you have an expensive piece of paper framed on a wall somewhere in your house. This status means a lot to you because you are doing something with your life. You worked hard for it! This important milestone in your life will make or break the impression that people might interpret from you. You might be intimidating for some, and intellectual hope for others.


“I’m going to Eastern Connecticut State University studying child psychology.”

One more for education:

“Human Development and Family Studies major at UConn looking to develop within a Human Resource Department.”

Ah, another Husky!  As a graduate from the University of Connecticut, I can relate to the overall experience of living in Storrs, Connecticut. I can associate my experiences with their own, and we can exchange stories that will make sense because we have that New England collegiate connection. Now, going back to their studies, human development and family studies will open the doors to social work. This will give you an idea of what kind of person you are going to get yourself acquainted with if you pursue anything serious.

Now, let us graduate from this topic. Next, focus on how they feel about working. Their work ethics will generally follow with their education.


“Manager at a salon.  I love my job and want to open my own business one day.”

There are three types of workers in the world. The basic “stay for pay” employee,  the “gets the job done” worker, and the workaholic. If someone wants to be a manager at a salon, they are commitment driven, flexible, and willing to work hard for what they have in life. If they dream about owning their own business, that shows a lot of responsibility within their character.

Hey, you might even fall in love with someone with a great hairstyle. In return, they can save you a few bucks for yours! If they are passionate about what they do for a living, yet lack expertise in cutting hair in the beginning, embrace the way they spent quality time with you. They could have done something else with their time! Ah, those are hobbies.


A hobby is a regular activity that pleases the individual. While I was at work, I read an educational poster attached to the classroom wall. “What you DO makes who you ARE!” Well, that might seem obvious, but in this last take on analyzing profiles, you will see why nobody bothers to pay attention to the little details. Stop judging and start appreciating! I am going to skip the obvious section on hobbies, and focus upon the status of who we represent within a community. What is our significant role or membership within that hobby that can either make or break the date?

Roles and Memberships

Instead of focusing on basic hobbies to analyze a person’s background, try taking important roles and memberships into the context. No, not a gym or Zumba membership. That could imply self-esteem, determination, goal-driven attitudes, and other great characteristics. However, not all gym memberships are taken as a New Year’s resolution advantage, especially on days with poor weather conditions. Focus on something that will always be a priority in someone’s life, even if they are not receiving any praise or appreciation in what they do on a daily basis.

Single Parents and the Package Deal in Daitng

Parenting. When you see an indication of being a parent on the prospective love interest’s dating profile, this is going to imply more than you can handle. Yeah, it might be baggage for some, and others are willing to take a load off another’s shoulders. This might be concerning to someone who is not willing to accept an additional person to their life. However, never use this as a detour in finding someone. Forget about the other half of DNA. If you are willing to make a difference in their lives, being the parent and the child, prove to them that you can accept being a second priority in the relationship. Young parents are not all lazy, inconsiderate, and careless. The main goal is to give their child a life that cannot compare to their own. They want to make the best out of the situation, and succeed to prove everyone around them that their first impression was wrong. Society will give out free labels, but they are much stronger than that to see their situation as another product of poor parenting. You do not understand what they went through, but take their hand to move on together.

These individuals will be much stronger, more independent, and reliable than the rest of those who cannot relate to anything close to what they have been through. Guys, when you stumble upon a young mother, the first thing you should ever say to them is, “Give yourself mommy time, you deserve it.”  Those encouraging words are not going to refund time or money, but it shows appreciation in what they have been doing with their lives.  Primarily, this is the reason why they barely have any time to meet someone in person, and ended up on a dating website instead. Take that imitative as a friend, and give them praise for how hardworking they are.

Next time you read a dating profile, the least you could do is scan it for important keywords. When you discover keywords, analyze them. Never take a first impression solely on appearance or the lack of information they provided. The more information they provided, the implication of an open-minded, extroverted individual can pop out of the description. If they are barely throwing themselves out there with details, talk about that insecurity in a respectful manner. Are they afraid to commit? Are they still hurt from the last time they let themselves out in the open? Take these precautions seriously, and take everything they give you as an opportunity. Treat them as a priority, never an option.

Next Time on 

In the next blog article, I am going to focus on conversation analysis. Guys, the clue phone rang plenty of times, and you still have messages! Why not check them? She either wants you to stay or pack your bags. Pick it up! This one is for you! Girls, there are plenty of fish in the sea! Why are you still letting that one swim around at the end of the hook? If you are reeling him in, and he is not putting any effort into coming closer, stop struggling! Let him swim away. We need to discuss how to analyze conversations, word choice, and treat life like an hourglass! If the person is not worth a grain of sand, move on before time runs out!

In addition, I am going to discuss actual conversation methods that guys use in general with OkCupid. I will be incorporating a social experiment that I personally conducted with my two Catfish dating profiles. Are they thirsty or are they serious? I caught the same guy fishing for both ladies! Did he talk to them differently based on what they provided on their dating profile? Is the education section more intimidating for the guys who sleep around all the time? Is there a greater chance that family oriented guys are looking for someone serious? Thanks for reading!

It’s Not Astrology, It’s Common Sense; Analyzing Dating Profiles for Compatibility

6 thoughts on “It’s Not Astrology, It’s Common Sense; Analyzing Dating Profiles for Compatibility

  1. Great article! Having used dating websites and meeting my fiance’ on one-everything you wrote about makes perfect sense. For whatever reason though, it’s easier to skim a profile and look at a hundred in an hour than read ten in with greater precision. There is definitely a lot a person can miss.

    1. Ha, perfect sense IS common sense. Yeah, let’s face reality here. Time is money. There are many people in the dating world paying every month to find their soul mate. If love doesn’t cost a thing, why are people making that attempt to purchase a subscription? Perhaps, serious inquiries are going to pay while the desperate perverts are going to sign up with free accounts? That’s not fair for the sophisticated, recently graduated college students! However, in the long run, whether we pay or not – we can’t read over 300 (OkCupid max) messages AND reply to all of them. Yeah, it’s flattering. It’s also a very selective process because we hesitate on matching up everything compatible just because something doesn’t sound right. I am glad you found your soul mate! 🙂

  2. Theresa Mitchell says:

    I checked out your site as I noticed that you had either favored or retweeted something I had posted. I rarely initiate conversations…I have to be interested in content and intrigued. Obviously, I am both. I have been on different dating sites throughout the years and can say there is not much I have not encountered. Successes have been few and far between for a couple of reasons…I will not settle and for some reason many men will not say their truths…their wants, needs, and desires, if they differ from mine. Instead, they try to fit into what I’m seeking. I do not believe in nor have the desire to want someone to change for me and expect the same in return. Many times my experiences were unsuccessful because that person wasn’t really looking for LTR and could/would not tell me from the onset. Mutual chemistry is something that does not come my way often. If its there, and I know upfront a persons truths, I.e. not wanting LTR, just someone to hang out with and have fun…I’m game…my LTR is not strickly black and white. As chemistry rarely finds its way to me, and I know upfront what his truth is, I can play and not have any expectations of a future. I am not most women. I think differently. I can separate love from lust and passion. I expect respect and will be reciprocated. I close the door to thoughts of a future with the honest man in which there is mutual chemistry. I don’t expect to change him or change his mind. It did happen once…he was not looking for LTR initially…but he fell in love…I liked him lots, we hit it off…but, I had locked that door from the onset and couldn’t unlock it. He was younger than me so it was rougher for him, but I helped him through it. Eventually he understood why I couldn’t go further. We are still friends today. He is happily engaged and thanks me for being true to my word when I had to let him go. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve had to do, but it was the right thing to do. Anyway, oinline dating was fun for a while but got old fast. It became easier to identify the players…I received mail from people who were way out of my listed parameters…whether it be age or distance. You’re right, age is a word…but I have problems being 43 getting maill from 20 yr olds. I know they should play and have their experiences in their 20s. Some women my age can give them those experiences but its not in my nature, nor morals to so so. I’m okay with late 20 early 30’s pending compatibilty and maturity. I’m not sure why I took my story as far as I did. I wrote more than intended as I mainly wanting your insight on why truths are difficult for men. I obviously say what I mean and mean what I say and do so without hestitanty or difficulty. Very open minded and truthful. I suppose I still don’t understand why truth is a hard thing for a man to share when it really is the only thing I ask. Anyway, I do enjoy your blogs and appreciate insights that gave me some clarity of some situations. Thanks for sharing.
    Have a great week, stay safe n warm…if you are in the current snow zones.

    1. Wow, thank you so much for opening up and letting it all out. The immunity towards bullshit over the Internet really came out. I appreciate that. You’re a strong, independent woman. You know what you want, and you damn right know exactly what you deserve. It’s definitely not some college student experimenting with cougars! You deserve much more respect than that. As a guy playing around with other guys to understand how they behave towards women on dating websites, I can imagine exactly what you mean. Same sea, same fish. It’s boring. It’s expected. There’s no mystery, there’s no excitement. The complimentary first impressions overwhelm and immune the heart. When someone finally receives a genuine response, it’s overlooked.

      What you explained is probably one of the biggest issues on dating websites – forcing two puzzle pieces together for whatever reason, but obviously it’s not going to work if someone is trying to reshape their own identity to fit perfectly into place with another. Their own predetermined piece to the puzzle cannot be changed. People are who they are for reasons. Most people can change something, many cannot change everything. As soon as they’re comfortable with you because they know they attracted you by changing some form of behavior or way they approach situations, they will start showing their true colors.

      Your heart felt comfortable here. That’s exactly what I want out of my blog. I want to reconnect the hopeless romantic community together. Open up, discuss, and share ideas. I am only 24 with no background or degree in a long study of psychological analysis on human behavior. It’s reality. It’s life. We just need to open our eyes wider and understand what’s going on around us. I am going to pry those eyes open for those who are shy and hesitant to do so. Maybe they’re just naive?

      Just wait for that one guy to accept a response from you, “I heard you’re the playa, I am the coach.” Thank you again for such beautiful constructive feedback. Stay safe and warm as well. I am in Connecticut. So, it’s gradually warming up. Take care and thank you so much for your response. I appreciate it. It’s the highlight of my year so far!

Speak your heart, proofread your mind.

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