What’s Up? Nothing Yet, Winky Face; Sexting 101

Life is a rewarding apparatus that provides countless obstacles, challenges, limitations, and opportunities to face. These situations are identified through a vast array of social, political, and economic influences. Work schedules can be tedious, tight, and overwhelming to plan anything exciting after work. If someone is tossing two jobs around, a personal note of appreciation goes to this workforce for their balancing act of eating healthy, maintaining work efficiency, and sleeping enough between and after their shifts. These productive individuals provide more tax paying power to our state and our country. Thank you for your support! Education can overwhelm the undergraduate, family influences can overwhelm anyone involved, and parenthood – let’s just move on. Although I am not a parent, from what I know, I was hired for my second job at a local grocery store down the street from my first job almost four months ago. I am still really stoked over this, and I am looking forward to staying productive with my time. Blogging has been pushed aside, but I am slowly coming back. I will try my best to blog at least twice a month when I get the chance. I wanted to submit an article by Valentine’s Day after reviewing all of the search keywords most people use to find my blog since January. I am intrigued to share search terms from several months ago to give you an idea of how people find my blog. A productive lifestyle filled with work and family has yet to hinder the free time people use to surf the Internet for dating and relationship advice. The following are search terms used via popular search engines to come across (no pun intended) this blog. Please note that these terms are also used to find pictures over the Internet. The first most commonly used term with 88 views will direct anyone to a picture of a young couple used for my blog article, “Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013.” 

Search Engine List

romantic sorry to lover
stories of the mile high club
romantic love making out doors
kissing ladies seductively
sex and kissing breast
seductive sexting picture ideas
sex kiss bite
the disney myth true love
couples lip biting
christina ricci photoshoot
how to. make your man beg for more when having sex
prinzecharming.com
couple biting lips
romantic couple foreplay -stock
hot sex couple breast
biting sex
a cul de sac relationship
bite sex
love bite couple
disney’s portrayal of love
seductive sexting stories
romantic love on bed
passionate sex gif
ewhoremany.com
a kiss bite
bite ear
neck touching couples
how to act out a cat in forplay
neck kissing n boobs pressing n pussy
sorry image image
okcupid dating profile username missshuffles90
sexting ur guy
couple lip biting
what else sexe
lip to lip sex
sensual romantic
lip kiss holding hands
sex bite
sexting a guy
ear biting
tumblr sensual
charming art award
cinderella and prince charming s love story
couple biting love
porn air fresheners
romantic sexual pics
sex bk
how to sexting fue your man
cuddling tumblr after sex
couple kiss in bed biting lips
romantics pics love

Wait, I am sorry. What was that? Porn air fresheners? What does porn even smell like? Wait, before anyone decides to smell any of their sexual paraphernalia, the biting theme seems to dominate the search list. I may consider this idea as another blog entry. I might approach this topic as a survey rather than from experience.  As for now, I will move on to say that sex is animalistic behavior. The animals involved will either care about enhancing their love making or take an advantage of the situation as a typical dominant role in the animal kingdom. Based on the search results, people use their free time on the Internet to search for sensual and sexual enhancement with their partners. Sexting is still appearing as a common theme among the search results. It is also appearing more widely across the news involving older men and young women using social media outlets, such as Kik. I provided links to the search results that directly connect to my previous blog posts. You may check them out at any time by clicking the hyperlink provided.

In this next social experiment, fifty men have settled the idea that sexting is reserved for both hook-ups and serious relationships. It appears that sexting is a qualitative act between two people, and altruism may or may not influence this notion. Whether we are celebrating Valentine’s Day or any other holiday, couples should engage through sexting to enhance their social and intimate relationship with each other. Sexting is not only popular to search across the Internet, but it is a missing component of intimate communication. As technology advances, communication between most couples across the world lack the essential interpersonal communication skills for exchanging ideas, feelings, similarities and differences. Emojis, or smiley faces used in SMS conversations, are ineffective if the receiver is not understanding that the flame next to the bed might indicate hot passionate love. Yes, the bed is really hot. Could you please remove some blankets? Awkward. It was worth a shot. Given a cultural and religious understanding, everyone must realize that sexting may hinder religious and/or moral beliefs. Everyone has their own right to their own body, and should express themselves freely as they will. Although equality to their own body is a human right, not all human rights are offered to those who deserve them in other countries. Male chauvinist countries may hinder these opportunities through religious and cultural beliefs, and rebellious acts of promiscuous activity may occur. For an interesting study on gender inequality and women’s rights to their own sexuality, research topics revolved around young Tunisian women. In addition, familiarize yourself with marital rape. Marriage is consensual on the day when two souls exchange vows, however this does not give free access to each other’s body at their own convenience.

Technological advancement in communication has comfortably set the tone for online dating. Most men would agree that they are smooth talkers, while most women (based on surveying the male perspective) feel the need to initiate a seductive line via SMS. This may or may not be the truth, but most guys feel the need to point fingers at the women who offer hints and suggestions to spark up more than a conversation. In February, I engaged in a social experiment with the two catfish accounts I have on the dating website OkCupid. I asked 50 men, 25 different men for each account, for their opinions of sexting. Guys, before I review the responses, feel free to take a moment to answer the following questions yourself. Then, compare your responses to the results. Note: the fifth question is not applicable because it is rather awkward, silly, and not effective without an actual image of the two catfish women. I will present the questions, the background results of how OkCupid established three compatibility percentages, and then the overall feedback of responses for each catfish account. The compatibility percentages range from Match, Friendship, and Enemy. In a recent update within the past several months, the website no longer has the friendship compatibility match option. Therefore, this will be the last time I will use this source for my blog.

Sexting Survey

The following are questions I provided to all the male participants that ranged from 18 to 45 years old:

1. Do you sext?

2. Why (for all ‘yes’ responses)?, Why not (‘no’ responses)?

3. Who initiates the sexting?

4. Do you prefer sexting with images or text?

5.  Give me an example of how you would sext me, providing details of how you would turn me on? Then, maybe, you can win my number with the best answer.

First Impressions Matter

Appearances can be deceiving, but first impressions are generally the foundation to most relationships. Regardless of your preferences for older men or women, most would hesitate to walk up to someone of any race, gender, or age with a clever pick-up line. If you are still shaking your head in disapproval, congratulations on providing an equal opportunity in your community. The Internet immediately creates a first impression of appearance, personality, and education level based upon how the individual markets, or portrays, their overall self-image. The captivating images of selfies, intriguing autobiographies, and word choice in exercising their freedom of speech are all factors in making or breaking that initial connection. In the last social experiment, I was analyzing conversations to discover this notion about social interaction between two catfish women and fifty randomly selected men. The rave girl’s promiscuous profile attracted the men who will most likely stay for a night or two.  The college graduate pursuing a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology draws attention to men who are serious about bringing someone home to their family. The language between myself and the subjects were alternated under the idea that it was appropriate to maintain that overall profile’s reputation. The rave girl bluntly came out with the first question listed above on sexting, while the college graduate apologized to her audience for being blunt. The results for each profile were entertaining, inspirational, and well-worth the time in conducting this social experiment. All interaction with the men stopped after the last question was answered. No further communication was necessary, unless the last question sparked something intriguing. At most, I asked all sparked responses if they wrote often. This was more often for the rave girl than the college graduate. All other messages were noted, and briefly explained in the Aftermath section of this blog post.

Age

The age range between the two women I selected may or may not have been a major factor in which men decided to spark up a conversation. However,  I have noticed that age can play an important role in first impressions over the Internet. The 20 year-old rave girl attracted men between the ages of 18 to 45. The twenty-four year-old college graduate attracted men from the ages of 18 to 41. The modes, or values that were commonly represented throughout the data, were 21 and 24. Thus, making an observation that people attract their own age group more often as a norm. The average age of the men interested in the rave girl was 25.96, while the college graduate attracted an average of 26.72. The difference was only 0.76 off from each other. You can agree that age is just a number, but the intent of social interaction will change everything based on how the individual markets their intent for being on a dating website. If the rave girl was also pursuing a college degree, the results could have significantly changed if she only expressed this academic pursuit on her profile. Her sexual experience was noted in most of the questions answered prompted by OkCupid to set up match, friendship, and enemy percentages. Given this understanding, these percentages could have significantly changed, and interest between the two individuals might have altered any connection between each other. A male participant could have relied on these percentages to further engage in the match or moved on to someone with higher scores. A male participant might have solely depended on the responses to the separate questions provided by the website. Multiple factors were involved.

Sexuality 

In the previous social experiment, I have attracted a woman interested in small talk with the bisexual college graduate student. However,  the sexuality between the two women did not change any results for this experiment. All inquiries were straight single men. The men did not engage in any discussion around sexual orientation, and the male participants were primarily focused on one-on-one encounters.

Residential 

Despite the common residential location for these women residing in Los Angeles, a surprising discovery was made when both women attracted two men in their twenties from the East Coast. Although the New York men were two years apart from each other, they both scored at least a 90% for match compatibility with their love interest. After analyzing the data to find any local LA men, the results were surprisingly low. The ratio between LA men to the rest of the CA men (ignoring the two New York men) was 8 to 24 for the rave girl,  and only 5 to 24 for the college graduate. This may or may not imply that LA men prefer meeting women in public places rather than on dating websites. It is also important to note that the two women both share high compatibility ratings for both match and friendship compatibility percentages with the LA men. There were only two LA men with a high match compatibility, but a significantly low friendship compatibility. The rave girl attracted one LA male with 80% match and 25% friendship compatibility. The college graduate attracted one LA male with a 61% match and 43% friendship compatibility. In addition, one male had a balanced 64% and 63% compatibility for the college graduate.

Compatibility

On OkCupid, there are three percentages that are calculated based on answering a countless number of questions to provide a 99.9% chance of being soul-mates. One percentage will calculate match compatibility, another will determine friendship compatibility, and the last one will cover enemies (or the lack of a healthy compatibility). The rave girl attracted nine men with a match compatibility from 80% to 90%.  Only five men scored 72% to 77%. That is 14 men out of 25 who scored a C- or higher in a match compatibility percentage. Therefore, a little more than half of the men were compatible love interests for the rave girl. Only three men scored 82% to 85% for friendship compatibility. A score of 73% to 79% was achieved by six men for friendship compatibility. The enemy percentage ranged from 0% to 54%. Given the data results, the rave girl has a balanced compatibility (80% to 100% range for both match and friendship compatibility) with only three men. If she decided to lower her standards to a 70% to 100% balanced compatibility, she would have eight men out of 25 from this study. That is only 32% of men who are both match and friendship compatible.

The college graduate attracted 12 men with a match compatibility between 80% to 91%, and six men with 70% to 72%. In addition, more men fell into the 60% to 69% compatibility range compared to the rave girl by four additional men. That is a total of 18 men, 72% of men surveyed, who scored a C- or higher in a match compatibility percentage. Surprisingly, the college graduate came across one individual with a 94% friendship compatibility percentage. That individual male also scored a 90% match compatibility. Therefore, he will be part of the overall best suited men from this study. There were five men who scored between 83% to 87% for friendship compatibility. Only three men scored a C range from 71% to 79% for friendship compatibility. In comparison, there were more men who ranged from 62% to 69% for friendship compatibility with the college graduate than the rave girl by three men. The enemy percentage ranged from 0% to 62%. Given the data results, the college graduate has a balanced compatibility with five men. If she decided to lower her standards to a 70% to 100%  balanced compatibility, she would have eight men out of 25 from this study. That is another 32% of men who are both match and friendship compatible. Whether the participating catfish women choose to lower their own standards to find true love online, the average of all the percentages might shed light into online dating.

The match compatibility average for the rave girl resulted to 61.85%. The friendship compatibility was 56.18%, while the enemy percentage was 24.29%. In comparison to the college graduate, there was a higher compatibility match with 73.44%. The friendship compatibility was also higher with 61.40%. The enemies were significantly lower with the college graduate at 18.96%. The match compatibility for one young woman was very close to the friendship compatibility of the other woman.

Unexpected Factors

The results, including match percentages and question responses, of this experiment may have been affected by time of conversation, disabled accounts, lack of interest, and other distracting incidents. In addition, I did not engage further with the participating males after the fifth question was asked. I will include if any replies were added during the five month duration of leaving the conversations idle. The three compatibility percentages may have changed since I talked to the participants in February based on how they answered more (if any) questions. In a recent website update, the match and enemy compatibility percentages are the only two factors calculated on every member’s profile.

As of updating this blog entry, an additional three accounts were disabled since July 22, 2014, preventing the college graduate to pursue anything further with them. There are now ten disabled accounts since the social experiment initiated with the college graduate’s account. Surprisingly, two of the five LA guys disabled their accounts.  One of them was a well suited match for the college graduate with an 89% match and 84% friendship compatibility. In addition, her other top choice with an 88% match and 87% friendship compatibility also disabled their account. Luckily, she can still choose the guy with a 91% match and 87% friendship compatibility. The rave girl has six male participant inactive accounts, including the guy from New York and the second highest match (1 of the 8 LA men) with a compatibility of 89%.  The most common age for both accounts to see inactivity is 24 and 21. The youngest inactive account for the rave girl was 21, while the college graduate lost two 19 year old men. Keep in mind – the rave girl is 20, the college graduate is 24. That is a total of 16 men out of 50 whom disabled their accounts, or 32%, since the study began in February. The college graduate lost 10 out of 25, or 40%, of the prospective men while the rave girl lost 6 out of 25, or 24%, of the participating men. Can we say that men who are attracted to promiscuous women will most likely stay desperate for anyone faster than those looking for a serious relationship with a well-educated woman? Perhaps.

The Question Responses

In this social experiment, I maintained two different personalities to effectively portray the catfish accounts. The responses to the questions varied between both accounts under the impression that one young woman likes sex, raves, and partying. The other young woman admits to a private moment with an embarrassing sexting story on her profile. She claims that she accidentally sent a picture of herself to her friend, and her friend now calls her, “Cheeks.” Given that there were 50 men involved with this study, I will briefly mention the results for each profile. The college graduate will be reviewed first. I am looking forward to publishing a separate blog entry for the rave girl’s perspective.

1st Question

According to several men, sexting is a gender norm. Men do it. What else do you want to know? According to others, some are quite inexperienced with sexting, or prefer the real deal. Yeah, I am sure it is a lot better than your hand. Wait, how else would you sext? Ha. Gotcha. As a college graduate with high values, I was told not to be worried for being blunt about asking a question that involves digital intimacy. A more intriguing discovery is a common frequency of assumption and demand. Guys, for the record, never assume the following question is an immediate offer:

“Sorry to be blunt, but do you sext?”

Reality check. Guys, seriously, how many women bother to ask you a question like that anyway? Do you need to read my previous blog entry on analyzing conversations in online dating? Always read their profile! This is too fishy! This is a catfish red flag. Regardless of her intent, treat her question as any other. She is seeking information from you. She is not necessarily asking for your digits. Give her some respect. On the topic of respect, watch what you say when you prefer physical penetration rather than mental stimulation. We all understand you prefer the real deal. Limit your disclosure to respectable terms. She could live without the details. Interestingly, some guys questioned if sexting was a requirement. Again. Never assume she wants a relationship with you. Give her space. Lastly, some guys reserve sexting with people they are already hooking-up with, rather than new people from online dating websites. Well, isn’t that special? Keep in mind that people lie about their age. Always talk to them appropriately. One guy responded with a negative response. I was intrigued to discover his reasoning. He mentions the legality of sexting. Finally, someone bright enough to know their boundaries! The guy states, “I think it’s dumb and folks get themselves into trouble.” As soon as I mentioned a scenario of meeting someone on a website for intended legal age adults to avoid that problematic concern, he quickly threw back the unexpected when I questioned how he would accommodate the lack of physical intimacy in a long distant relationship. He brought up, “If this is some research project or something, I’m not really interested…” Well, I respect that. Kudos for analyzing conversations effectively. Was that it? No. I wanted to see his intent.

 His Intent 

CG: Why would you even think that? lol I am just curious to find out how romantic you are in expressing your feelings towards others, given an opportunity maybe in the future that something may happen between us. Sorry I bothered to get to know you better.

Him: There are girls who make accounts to collect information for psychology/sociology papers and stuff like that. It happens more than you would think. If you’re just curious, I’m really just not into sexting. I’ve never done long distance relationships, so I have no idea.
CG: Really? I’ve seen the show Catfish, but I never imagined anything academically intended. Did you know OkCupid does their own research? So, why bother to do something already done? lol Check out their blog if you’re intrigued: http://blog.okcupid.com/. So, you would rather express yourself in person than over the phone. That’s respectful. I like that. I am glad you’re not self-centered and selfish.
Him: The number one rule of college: just because somebody else has said it 9,999 times, it doesn’t mean you can’t say the exact same thing and consider yourself “edgy.” Haha. You can’t really blame me for being suspicious considering you’re going to grad school for psychology.
 
Reel em’ in! 
Well, he is definitely a keeper! He analyzed my profile effectively. What if I was going for grad school for something else? Do you think this would have resulted differently? The less confident men were quite open about their experience in sexting. One guy mentions, “Nah its fine haha n honestly no haha ive never done that n I dont think ill be good at it haha.” Excessive laughing. Grammatical errors. I get it. No, really, I do. Haha. I stumbled upon another who admitted that they did not have much experience, but would volunteer to do so. A thirty year old caught on quick:
Him: “I do if I’m with someone. You?”
CG: Yes, in the same context as you, so it’s special. Why do you do it?
Him: “What made you ask that as the first question? It’s not a common occurrence”
CG: Oh, I am just testing out romance types. I am curious to see your response to why do you do it? What’s your motive behind it? Who usually initiates it? Are you more dominant or submissive? Do you prefer images or text? It helps me understand you better.
Him: “I don’t see how. Why do you answer first and I can get a better understanding of you. Or you can just tell me about yourself, are you close with your family, how do you treat your mom, what do you do for fun, are you happy with your life, why did you join Okc. I think those would be more important than sexting.”
Well, we have a family man. Ladies, this one is up for grabs!

Him: To  sexting if it does happen is between that couple and should only be done with that couple. If they feel the need to “spice” things up they should do what makes them happy. As far as discussing it with a stranger it doesn’t apply, because it’s only pertinent to those involved.

CG: Ah, you would be surprised. Just that response alone tells me you genuinely care for the person. Yes, I am very close to my family. They’re the reason why I am here. lol In addition, you can choose your friends, but you can never choose your family. Although I would say a few cousins would be the first to be changed if possible. My mom and I are close, but I am closer to my father. I volunteer at a health clinic. That’s always fun, and very rewarding. My life could be better, but it’s much better than most my age. I joined this site because my friend told me about it. So, I figured, what’s there to lose? 

Him: I appreciate your honesty. It shows how sincere and well-brought up you are.
I try to be as honest as possible, especially online. I’m looking for something real and genuine so I figured I better be as real and as genuine as possible if I want that in return.
Then, there was this guy: 
“That’s pretty blunt. I have no idea how to sext.”

Well, you are not the only one. Is there a significant difference between texting and sexting other than a letter change?  Why would anyone bother to get intimate over a bunch of words? Why would you do such a thing? I mean, it sounds horrifying. Sexting. 

2nd Question: 
“It sounds pretty scary,” one guy replies. Seriously, sexting is a genre of sci-fi if they ignore washing themselves. The same guy questioned previously, “How does one typically start a sexting session?” I admire his curiosity and word choice. Do people typically call them sessions, moments, or opportunities? Why do we even bother?
Men have a very fascinating way of expressing themselves. This was absolutely one of my favorite questions that I asked. The opinionated gave me an overall understanding, while the passionate frankly admitted to just getting down and dirty in person.
Here are some ideas: 

“Well its a way for both people to have a fantasy in there head to get off to.” “My intent is not to sext but the other person is the one asking so I go along with it but they are no longer in my life.” “I’m good and only on tuesdays lol what are you up to?” “Idk just really havnt talked to anyone like that thru text haha id much rather perfer to do things in person espeacily if its messing around like that haha. Now im sorry if I sound creepy hear haha buy since u asked ill ask u the samething haha would u like to mess around but in person perferably haha xp”

“I only do it when I’m in a relationship, I guess it’s way to express yourself to your significant other.”
 “I dont think ive ever “sexted” but i do enjoy being involved in things revolved around sex. does that count?”
 
“I feel like sexting is a way to pass the time before actually hooking up and having sex. . if not it just seems like a tease i guess. but like i said i never done it.”
 
 “Only if they have a particular fetish for it.”
“Some girls I date do that so I play along.”
“I think I’d prefer to wait the first time and text, we could switch things up after build up some experience.”
One of the oldest guys I surveyed caught on by the second question questioning if I was doing research for a paper. I told him that I was just fascinated to figure people out their their intimate personalities (or lack thereof) to confirm compatibility. He replied, “I don’t really do that but if it’s with a woman that I have a very good connection with that it’s impossible to see then maybe will write something horny otherwise horny time is for when you’re both together what about you. Maybe it could be fun if the other person is good at it. I guess phone conversations much better.” I replied, “Yeah, phone sex is a lot better than sexting. It’s much more meaningful because it has an emotional and physical connection to the person. I am glad you’re not as easy as most men, and it takes a lot to gain your time. I respect that. In a serious relationship with you, who would normally initiate that intimate behavior?”
Well, I moved on the next question with him, and he nailed me. Pun not intended. He replied in a playful joking matter.
Him: Dude! your so obviously writing some kind of college paper cut it out🙂 if you want to keep up this conversation why don’t you buy me a coffee or a beer or something I’m in Atwater and Silverlake area😉 I’m super busy guy I’m starting a business etc but you seem interesting and smart so if you want to get together for a chat and some laughs or something . I’ll help you with your paper. let me know 323-his-digits-were-here.
I left him alone for a while. He still sent me messages, even after a month. “Coffee? Haha not talking to me any more?” He offered to help though. That made my day. Then, there was this guy. The guy who respects his women, but finds sexting weird:
“Cuz I need to have a lot of feelings for a woman before anything like that happens. Plus it is just weird.”
3rd Question: 

Would it be weird if the other person initiated it? No pressure to start, but so much pressure to finish? The other pressure, of course. The third question revolved around sexting initiation. Who gets the blame for being dominantly digital? According to the men I surveyed, consent between the couple happens before anything else. I was curious to question how sexting becomes consensual, but that would have caused confusion. Some guys mentioned that the girl would ask, and the guy will say yes. The rest of the responses speak for themselves:

“Haha well the boy n the girl can talk about it left n right but at the end its really up to the girl who decides if they want it in person or sexting haha. So wat do u think in person or sexting? Haha but just so u know im a lot better in person cuz im a sucky texter so ill bore u haha. I talk more in person n can keep u entertain.”
 
Well, at least he was honest. No sucky sucky for me. The inexperienced were quite the challenge, but nonetheless they were still helping my study:
“What do you mean? i dunno i guess there was texting before hand but i dont know if sending me tits counts as sexting. but i likeit none the less.”
 
Tits. Everyone likes those.

Well, what if tits were not interesting to them at the time? Yeah, some guys reported to say that it depends on their mood, and the person involved. The dominant sexters admitted that it depends on each other’s mood, not just their own. Well, that is reassuring someone else cares about the other person involved. Surprisingly, one admits that they have not had a lot of sex. I am only suggesting that it surprises me to connect sexting and actual sex together. Are we on the same page here or maybe we should change the chapter?

Participating Male: I wouldn’t know. I haven’t done it.

CG:Ah so you wouldn’t be able to express yourself over the phone to turn your girlfriend on?
PM: Can we change the conversation?
Yeah, why not? Let’s get visual!

4th Question: 

A picture is worth a thousand words, and some data usage! Everyone has a different way of appreciating visual stimulation, whether it was physically seeing images or creating mental images on their own. I have previously written a blog article on seductive sexting for those who wish to engage in imagery seen physically by the eyes, and not solely dependent on the mind. Instant gratification. I get it. No, not like that, but I understand why this is a very popular way of communicating intimate ideas across social media outlets. Please refer back to my previous blog article to understand that this intimate exchange is not meant for everyone, regardless of your personal preference. Whether you are explicitly communicating to minors in written text or via image exchange, it is still illegal. That is the law. As my two catfish accounts were portrayed as legal adults, we can continue on to what stimulates men more between imagery or text. Ladies, men want to see your goodies. For the love of God, just respect yourself with self-control. Other men prefer both imagery and textual communication for sexting. Surprisingly, men have admitted that it is not a turn on for them and they refuse to pay for webcam shows. A sense of invading space has surfaced the topic, as well as briefly discussing about bad previous experiences. This question was also opening up the door to assumption, and personal responses were openly exchanged. One participant admitted that he likes to use both imagery and text, and for the sake of me being cute, he admitted that he will definitely like both. That was for the hopes of giving him a chance in the near future. Guys, again, never assume she wants to engage in anything like that. She could be asking these questions to relieve herself from bad experiences of men sending her inappropriate images to her phone. Treat it as a question to answer, and an opportunity to understand. Not an opportunity to pursue anything further. I get it. A cute girl asked if you preferred images or text in sexting. She is attractive. Of course you would take anything you can from her. She gets it too. All the time. Stop it. I appreciated the honest responses that revolved around asking for too much if they received both forms of sexting. However, one continues to explain that, “images and texts both work good together. So ill say both.” That is a solid answer. Thank you. Then, there was Captain Obvious:

“Being a graphic designer, I’m a pretty visually-oriented guy. Send me something!”
Thanks! A special shout out to the guys who comfortably expressed their genuine interest of getting to know the person before they sext. This includes the guy who mentioned that it “helps if I had some idea of your turn ons and interests doll.” A special punch in the chest for the guy who assumes that a complimentary statement to their response is an immediate win of approval. I will give some kudos to the guy who felt that he would not be interested in “someone who could be pleased through a text message,” suggesting that they would not be compatible. However, I question his ability to take a balanced role (each other equally involved) in a long distant relationship if I was actually a girl trying to get to know him better on OkCupid. How else would he please me, from afar, if he feels that I cannot be pleased through the simplistic measure of a reading something genuine from him? Red flag for people who enjoy waking up to morning texts. This guy is probably not for you.

The Aftermath

The last question was a make it or break it for them. Of course – nobody won my number, or a local LA pizza place that I was hesitant to offer. After some participants heated things up with how they would please me through sexting, providing a detailed example of their sexting style, I left OkCupid inactive for a while from being busy with work. Some guys wondered if they passed my sex test while others insecurely questioned if they said something wrong. The best obvious response that I expected to see was something like this:

“So does this mean I didnt win ur number? Haha” 

Yes. Sorry, Romeo.

Pleading the 5th 
What exactly does a guy say to a young woman pursuing a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology to provide her an example of sexting? The following are some fine examples:
“Hahaha i guess, it’s not a good idea, we should Skype to seduce each others lol” 
“Well for examples. above all im really into oral so mostly it will lead to licking your click and other pussy eating gestures. like fondling , rubbing/firmly gripping your tits, nipple sucking, and some kissing of the neck to make you as wet as possible so when i go south you’re nice and wet. then slowly crawls my hand down get by rubbing your clit some , listen to you moan . i love it. start fingering you first with one then 2 fingers , enjoying your pleasure very much , bump it up to three maybe bring down the other hand and start rubbing your clit simultaniously(spelling error) and eventually give you a break just to move over between your legs and start by placing my tongue on your wet hole and running my tongue up spreading your lips open . start fingering you as i grasp your clit with my lips and go to town on your clit , have you go crazy…. well theres an example :P”
Wait, my what? Your hand crawls without dragging your body? I would like to see this!  Woah, three? Dude, this isn’t poker. You’re not bumping up anything! Hey, at least he was grammatically honest! Ah, fuck. He said it. Wet hole. I am done. I lost my lady boner. Seriously, that is almost saying, “moist hole.” He was considerate to give me a break though!
“Depending on what you like, ill seductively talk about what turns you on in all the right places. Phrasing and acting out those actions are key to sexting. So if you liked doggie style I would say as I watched your figure from behind I placed my hands right on hips and gently put my penis inside of you for full feeling. That’s just an example though lol” 
Nailed it.  That’s a winner!

 “Well I guess yea haha but im more in person kinda guy haha. Well like I said ive never done this before so I wouldnt really know wat to say but if it were in person. Ill take u somewhere nice to enjoy the day n then wen we get intimate ill start off by kissing ur neck as I slowly remove ur shirt. Then lay u down n start kissing ur stomache as I slowly remove ur pants. Then ill start fingering n licking u til u get extremly wet. Then ill ask u wat exactly do u want me to do to u n ill do every single thing u like to make u finish ;)”

 
I cannot stomache people playing with my mustache. Woah, wait. Jokes aside. Did he just pass my lady border without any prolonged stimulation above my waistline? Fail. Make me want it. Could you kiss my thighs at least?

“I can go hard slow kinky passionate how ever u like I can do. Im better at passionate though haha”

Those hardly working or working hard are quite hard doing whatever they do best:
 
“Haha, I’m at work, so this will be a bit awkward typing this. I would gently push you down onto your bed, gently kissing you on the neck, my warm breath lingering on your skin as I start to unbutton your blouse. I slide my right hand on the outside of your increasingly moist panties. My fingers tracing the outline of your slit… OK that is as much as I can do right now as a sample. My boss is staring at me lol”
 

Then, let me introduce to you, Mr. Exotically Fun:

“Haha well first we would have a setting like a pool, shower, locker room, something fun and exotic. Then I would start with telling you abiut the foreplay.” 

 

Well, at least this guy is kinda in the same boat:
“How I’d massage, kiss, or rub you. Then I’d start telling you how I’d take your clothes off haha”
 
Honesty is quite honestly sexy. Trust me. You proved yourself worthy:
“I’ll be honest, I don’t know you and just sexting someone I don’t know doesn’t feel quite right. If I knew you I would.”
 
Ladies, this is my guy. Yeah. He knows me too well:
“It sounds like an awesome idea, however, I’m going to say no, cause I don’t know you, I don’t really know if you really say who you are..you could be a guy or some kid getting a kick out of this,I decline.”
 
And as for Mr. Cocky, my guy should calm this dude down:
“I’ll win you over, I would rather not sext you here. What’s your number?” 
Romance Recap
By reviewing these responses, you can understand the college graduate had to cringe, smile, laugh, and shake her head at all these attempts of winning her phone number. This is not just a competition for digits, but further engagement in communication. Guys, seriously, do you even care for more intellectual conversations with her? Ladies, there are really good guys out there. This was a brief summary of 25 of them engaging in a conversation with a college graduate. This was a sample of the higher quality group searching for women with respectable backgrounds, including a strong academic focus in life. Never settle for less! Communication is extremely important before engaging in physical intimacy, especially earlier in the relationship. Keep in mind that being blunt right away is not necessarily the best idea. Respect yourself and each other when you disclose this information. Would you throw all your baggage at someone while you exchange the first handshake? Compare experiences and preferences.  There are guys willing to understand you and your body before attempting to please it. Ignore the ones with assumptions for sexual gain and fulfillment. They will never care about you. Analyze conversations as soon as possible to understand which type of fish you reeled in this time. Always remember that it starts from within. How you market yourself for love can make or break the future for you. I will discuss the rave girl’s perspective in a separate blog entry. I will try to get it out to you by mid August. Thank you in advance for a strong following community. I never expected to reach this many followers since I started, and I had no idea the majority of you would stay after inactivity. My word count has reached 7,100 for this post alone. Hopefully, that made up for something. I am off to bed! Sorry for any grammatical errors (other than the direct quotes from my male participants).
What’s Up? Nothing Yet, Winky Face; Sexting 101

2 thoughts on “What’s Up? Nothing Yet, Winky Face; Sexting 101

  1. I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both equally educative and
    interesting, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head.
    The problem is an issue that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about.
    I am very happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something regarding this.

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