The other night, Time Square had a crowd of freezing bodies anticipating the ball drop without giving much thought of the year ahead. Although kisses were exchanged under the 10 degree brisk winter air, many couples are still left questioning their own relationships. While New Year’s resolutions are being written down, primarily focused on self-improvement strategies, some relationships from the past year are moving forward in the wrong direction.
Recently, I was live streaming on YouNow. I was guesting with a young woman, in her early 20’s, struggling to keep her emotions together from an unhealthy relationship. She is currently engaged with the man of her dreams, but his family does not approve of her despite everything she has done for him. She even dropped out of college to pursue their relationship. In the past year, he has cheated on her twice under his family’s approval, awkward – I know, and still considers to wed in the near future. She will be consuming alcohol on her 21st birthday. She is not yet legal age to drink in the United States, but she will most likely use emotional distress as a reason to legally indulge in this behavior. Additionally, she has briefly mentioned that she occasionally takes her engagement ring off. This alerted everyone in the chat, and many questions lead into an intense discussion on relationships. Here are the five imperative steps to adapt to any relationship in 2018.
Communication is a process of sharing or exchanging news and ideas. In a technological world, many people struggle to communicate effectively. In some relationships, there is little to no communication at all. For 2018, find ways to talk to your partner about everything happening in your life. It could be as simple as describing the bird you saw in the park to the senior couple holding hands at the mall. When you begin to develop new ways to share information, you will feel more comfortable with yourself and the people around you. While considering the appropriate time and location, always say what you feel, if you feel that it should always be said.
We are all humans, and we think and feel alike. Some thoughts and feelings are difficult to express because of the nature of how they feel mentally and emotionally. Can we accurately measure happiness through adjectives, or can we substitute them with nouns, like butterflies? Can gestures or conduct convey the right message if there is nothing else to be said? Whether we have an easy time expressing ourselves, or find it rather difficult to open up, a healthy relationship requires a mature established connection to surpass the indescribable feelings. We should never take an advantage of words that may sound appropriate, or words that we know other people want to hear. We should only express how we feel, and accept nothing in return. Love and lust should never be taken the same way, or misinterpretations can lead to empty promises. Lastly, never feel inferior to family or friends for expressing yourself in front of your partner. Always take a stand on defending them when they need it the most. This will provide reassurance that they can rely on you when conflict arises.
Occupy, attract, or involve someone’s interest or attention with the most genuine intentions. Never assume that engagement is the same as consent, and never take an advantage of the consent of someone allowing the engagement. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, you are extremely comfortable with your partner. This comfort may lead into misinterpretations and mixed messages that it is perfectly acceptable to do as you please and please as you do. Marital status does not, for any reason, reflect entitlement, ownership, and willingness to another person. For example, not every single woman is eager to be with the next single man. Not every married couple has the right to their partner’s body simply because they wear rings representing their martial status. Take your partner places, see the world differently, and step out of the norm this year. Engage with each other to develop bigger and better things for your relationship in the years ahead.
The most fascinating concept of development is the implication that something must grow, and become more mature, advanced, and elaborate. The only small print in development is within the definition of the word. Maturity is when something is fully developed. Your relationship must grow to become mature. Advancement is to move forward. Could negative movement in a relationship qualify as advancement? Of course. It is only advancing in the wrong way or direction. When a relationship becomes more elaborate, it has a complicated yet beautiful structure of carefully arranged details. It shows that the couple has developed something purposeful and healthy. If you have to question the development of your relationship, from communication to engagement, you need to step back before you become something unbearable.
A relationship is a connection of two entities sharing similarities and differences. Whether you want to become friends, best friends, a couple, an engaged couple, or an official married couple, you have to finalize boundaries and expectations. You have to know what is in store for you in the near future. If you are struggling to fill an emotional hole now, it will not be filled later. You need to fix this today. You cannot become anything other than what you are today, unless you change something about your current situation. If you want to grow with someone, you must communicate, express, engage and develop into an achievable martial goal. Never rush being friends to being engaged, or simply rushing the wedding to obtain official documents. A relationship is a journey between two individuals who have both mutually agreed upon the path they are willing to take. Respect each other, and watch for verbal and non-verbal signs. These signs include lack of communication, distance between each other, and fiddling with engagement rings. The minute someone takes off an engagement ring could be a sign of dishonesty and trust, but it may also be a sign of discomfort and If someone is going out of the way for you, take into account that actions do speak louder than words. When you reach what you anticipated to achieve, you become what you deserve to become.
I wish the best of luck in all your endeavors for 2018.