A World Ending in Love; Squidward Tentacles Exchanged Vows with Pearl Krabs

Posted: 12/21/2012 12:40 PM EST

By Tony Terragna

BREAKING NEWS – The End of World sparked a flash of love in Japan! Nickelodeon’s SpongeBob SquarePants actors Squidward Tentacles and Pearl Krabs exchanged vows near the Kachidoki Bridge while the best man, Godzilla, overwhelmed with joy.  Godzilla rekindled the love affair with Japan since 1954.

Squidward appeared on ABC’s Extreme Makeover in 2007. Squidward’s sudden makeover change sent Captain Eugene Krabs, or commonly referred as Mr. Krabs, into parental control. Pearl Krabs, the daughter of Mr. Krabs, felt love at first sight when Squidward arrived back in Bikini Bottom. In the fifth season, the air date for The Two Faces of Squidward released on November 23, 2007. In this episode, SpongeBob SqaurePants slammed Squidward’s face with a door, unexpectedly becoming handsome. Bikini Bottom was full of Tentacles Fever in awe over Squidward’s handsome face. Sorry, Beliebers, but Justin has competition under the sea.

Squidward rides with SpongeBob SquarePants through the mob of admiration.

In Bikni Bottom, Squidward rides through a mob of infatuated fish over his divine characteristics. Shortly after airing the show, Pearl Krabs kept her eyes on Squidward for a while. Finally, after rumors went viral throughout the schools of the sea, the two tied the knot this morning in Australia.

Surprisingly, there was no bride price, but Mr. Krabs agreed on a dowry for the two newlyweds to start their own family in Bikini Bottom. The two have not spoken anything about bearing children. The debate over Mr. Krabs raising Pearl is still going viral. Who is the mother of Pearl? How does a crab reproduce with a whale? The adoption papers are still under investigation.

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A World Ending in Love; Squidward Tentacles Exchanged Vows with Pearl Krabs

Dusty Memories; Hoarding Unrequited Love

Dear Jamie, Followers and Passing Bloggers, 

I am writing an article to you in a letter format because I want to effectively convey my thoughts on hoarding our love letters from adolescent years. How long is too long to keep them in a box somewhere up in the attic or down in the basement collecting dust? Should we reconsider scrap-booking to show our own children the days of puppy love?

In an era of technological change in communication, who considers themselves as a pen pal anymore? The cost for postal stamps is the catalyst hindering a traditional form of expression and admiration. Family and friends are now sending out Christmas postcards with a recent family picture as the postcard image. How many Christmas cards will you be sending out this year? Do you think Santa will feel the burden of the U.S. Postal Service? Children will have to save their wish lists on their computers and electronically send them out in time for Santa’s delivery!

The military families experience tedious battles of long distant relationships with the exchange of letters. There is also an exchange of uncertainty and fear, imagining that this letter could be the last one sent from them. I would like to take this moment to acknowledge the troops and their families. God bless you all for the strength and patience that you have achieved over the last few years. Stay strong and come back home soon.

Conveniently logging on to the Internet is a matter of seconds, the anticipation for another letter in the mail is invaluable. I was only twelve years old when I started chatting online in AOL chat rooms. There were only a few friends that wanted to write to me and send me a couple awkward school pictures enclosed in their letters. A decade later, I am still in contact with only two of those young women. They both have amazing partners, and I wish them the best of luck.

It is unfortunate that you cannot meet everyone you have known for several years over the Internet. However, you make the best of it in any situation and communicate with each other every other day.

In The Notebook (2004), a romantic love story between a poor, passionate man and a young, beautiful rich woman has changed the film industry forever. Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun face the challenges of a long distant relationship and the ineffective communication limited to the exchange of 365 written letters – every day for a year.

I have several letters from wonderful people across the United States. If I counted them all, I doubt I have more than three hundred of them. I have their love notes, adorably embarrassing pictures, and cards from different holidays. In high school, I have exchanged letters and notes throughout the school day with my peers. After going back down Memory Lane, I realized that I would feel empty and lost inside if I threw away everything. I could never detach myself from the homemade birthday cards to the letters suggesting that “I screwed your sister cause you’ re not worthy of my bangage [sic]!” The preserved inside jokes and the untold stories can bring back more than just rekindled emotions. You cannot relive the past, but you can carry the best experiences with you, especially if they are in written form. The minute you read a letter from the past or possibly right after a break-up, you have to ask yourself how you feel about keeping these letters of sentimental value. Would you rather let the past slip away through your fingers or do you frame the experiences that helped you become who you are today?

Saying Goodbye

How do we remove something from our lives that holds so much sentimental value? How can we replace those empty boxes that held the best written stories stocked up awaiting for another rainy day to enjoy them? Would you reconsider writing a romance novel from them?

Kalisha Buckhanon, author of Upstate, introduces a powerful and motivating love story told through the exchange of letters between a young teenage couple, Antonio and Natasha, during the 1990’s in New York. While Antonio’s accusation for a shocking crime went viral, the love for each other was also being testified. How long will absence grow the heart fonder? Well, I am not much of a spoiler when I review books, but Buckhanon conveys a poetic image at the end of her story when Natasha decides whether she will keep the letters or toss them away. It is a very intriguing book. If you did not read this in high school, please do it now.

Shredded Love, Toasted Hearts

Many businesses and households are buying shredders to remove their confidential documents and legal records for anyone who decides to rummage through the recycle bin. This temporary shred will only cut the paper in multiple strips, while another trend of removing personal documents may just spark an idea.

My dad is a pyromaniac who has managed to slip away from becoming an arsonist by following town ordinances on fire safety. I believe fire would be more of a symbolic and temporary rush. It would be poetic in the sense where a temporary burning desire starts off slow across the pieces of paper, eventually engulfed with warmth and rage. Then, the letters shrivel up and deteriorate into ashes. Whether you felt that the relationship would still have the potential to rekindle or not, that is entirely your decision. It is never too late to rekindle potential feelings, unless there is significant emotional damage and baggage from that relationship. If you know it would be a waste of time, push it aside.

I am not ready to burn a part of my past, but I do move on from everything that has happened. I can burn my research papers, but I would never analyze how much my writing has improved in the last eight years. I can burn everything I have received from past relationships, excluding materialistic gifts, but I cannot shred or burn the sentimental value that everything uniquely has on its own. Yes, Teddy, you’re still staying with me.

If something written to you a while ago still grabs you and hugs you tight, why should you let that go? Embrace those feelings and return back to them when you need them the most. If you kept something from the past that causes conflict in your current relationship or lifestyle, step away from the risks involved. Whether you are obsessively stalking someone on Facebook or Twitter, or telling their partners that they still care about you and not them, consider yourself warned.

Don’t Hate, Donate

If you have materialistic items from your past sitting on your bed since the first time you received them, keep them. If they are still in great condition,  stuffed animals are always welcomed for a generous donation to children hospitals or daycare centers. Ask around and see where you can drop them off. Although I would also consider having a yard sale, most of the people who stop by here in my neighborhood are looking for pet toys. Unless you have a sadistic sense of humor, I would suggest reserving Mr. Snuggles for a child who really wants him to come home that day. I am sure Mr. Snuggles would not mind at all, especially far away as possible  from the other misfit toys that still linger from your childhood.

Do you still have love letters, teddy bears or their jacket you borrowed? Comment below and tell me all about it!

Also, ask yourself if you could take those items and dispose of them properly, how would you do it? Did you remove them from your life before? How did you do it, and would you change the way you took matters in your own hands?

Until next time, take care.



Dusty Memories; Hoarding Unrequited Love

The Ultimate Sacrifice for Love; Makes Sense to Deny Participation


Good evening, everyone! 

Just a quick thought for the day:

Your world is your inspiration. Take mental notes, write poetic evaluations.

Intimate hour! Are you ready? Do you have your comfortable pajamas on? Ladies, you lean towards the casual bedtime attire to bra and panties, right? For guys, just the boxers? Now, how should we come back to explorative writing but with an explicit twist? Let’s start this evening with a question for a warm up:

If you had to risk and lose one of your traditional five senses to make love to your lover, unless of course you associate with paranormal activity, which one would it be, and why?

First, I should verify the rules. Answer whether you will or will not give up one of your senses to make love to your loved one. Is that a permanent thing? Yes, this one decision will change all the romantic evenings for you to engage intimacy with your partner for the rest of your life. Think of it as if you were experiencing Ariel’s dilemma, the little mermaid, where she gave up her voice to become a human. Would you give up one sense for something personal? Now, think about the invaluable importance behind your senses to your unique lifestyle and sex appeal in the bedroom.

This is not an easy task, but this exercise can really open up your mind to amazingly passionate ideas. You will also discover, and possibly release, the inner hopeless romantic nestled inside. Watch out! Can you handle what you are capable of doing? Let’s find out.

Note: Disabled persons will feel left out by their physical disadvantages already, leaving options to only a few of their senses. If you deal with a barrier that hinders your five senses, ask yourself … if you knew that this decision would enhance your love life, would you give up one of the senses you already have for another sense that you have lost for a long time? Think about why you would make that decision whether you agree or disagree, and imagine what life would be like in the bedroom with that final decision that you make. Maybe you said yes, but what will improve the most in your love life? Maybe you said no, what hindered your decision?

Let’s go over the five traditional senses: 


You might refer to yourself as someone who isn’t shallow, but you believe there is some reason for physical attraction to become a core foundation, or key for sexual appeal. You might be right. However, maybe you should start closing your eyes more often during the foreplay? Kisses are not always the ones left to be unseen. If you already close your eyes while you make love, maybe you already know you can live without this opportunity.


What? Are you talking to me? He’s standing right behind you, leaning in to secure his arms around your body. A hug from behind finalizes the moment when his fingers link into yours and his chin rests on your shoulder. Ah, wait, not yet. Where did the whispers of sweet nothings in a foreign language come into play? Oh, right, you made a choice to become oblivious to his words, yet fully awake for his motives. Many men and women prefer dirty talk while making love. Maybe others would rather experience sensual talk or a seductive role-playing that prolongs foreplay. Talk is cheap, but moans are also sounds to explain the pace of the enthusiastic beating heart. Would you rather put them on mute or hear the impact of the penetrating thrusts deep inside? That is entirely up to your personal preference.


Any cheap whores around? Natural body odor enthusiasts? Yeah, that’s right, the smell of this topic might intrigue you to continue reading. How much do you rely on your nose when you engage in intimate encounters? Ah, let me rephrase that, you cute Eskimo kissing types. Does it make sense to alter your sense of smell just to make love to your significant other? Although smell might play a significant role in arousal, you will be missing out when they whisper across your lips, “I’m yours.” Yeah, you might be right about missing that one sensational reason of that moment. If their breath smells, you may never know the circumstances. The truth hurts, but it will be completely ignored. We’ll get to taste later!  Just remember that it might be odorless, but the taste may leave something else behind. Yeah, the aftermath of your dinner and a movie date!


I close my eyes as his fingers aimlessly wander across my vulnerable exposed neck. I am awaiting for his arrival to run his fingers through my hair, pulling me closer to exchange a passionate kiss beyond my control.

Oh, you saw that picture differently? That is completely fine! Wait, what? Say that again? Slower? Oh, you. Maybe later. I dedicate this section to my sensualist out there. Who doesn’t love physical touch? That indescribable feeling when two bodies slowly collide against each other, bare skin rubbing softly against bare skin, in a hot steaming shower. Ladies, it’s that feeling when you’re snuggling with someone in just your bra and panties on, and they leave just their boxers on. Yes, touch would be incredibly difficult for passionate foreplay. Maybe you disagree? Maybe touch isn’t what sparks arousal, but what else would ignite the flames much brighter and warmer if you can’t feel your significant other against you? Let’s bite into one last thing before commenting.


Are you seductively playful? Would you prevent anyone to witness your  chaotic intentions? Ah, this is a moment where you should relax your eyes with my hands over them, and embrace upon our lips. Maybe I am not ready? Let me teasingly brush my lips across yours without a kiss. What? You like bottom lip biting instead? Feel my hands run along the side of your face, smiling at such a passionate embrace.

Warm? Yeah, sorry, it was quite chilly in here. I only turned the heat up just a few degrees higher. How much did you bite out of that last paragraph? Was it all bite and no taste? I hope it was because that was my intent. You should have not felt any desire to taste my lips, but the explorative opportunity in that moment. Do you enjoy the taste of one’s lips with yours? Do you enjoy oral stimulation? Why? Maybe you only enjoy it for the thrill of arousal? Maybe you like the taste of necks? Well, whether you like to taste or bite, decide on your own. You don’t always have to taste what you bite.

Now, I have stimulated interest. Great. I am sure you thought about each one. Did you think about erogenous zones? Did you decide if your turn ons, wild kinky fetishes, or sexual preferences would face difficult barriers? Go back to each one. Re-evaluate yourself, rediscover your feelings, and make that decision. Would you risk a sense to make love with a significant other? What sense would you give up, and how do you explain your answer?

Now, back to that question from earlier:

If you had to risk and lose one of your traditional five senses to make love to your lover, which one would it be, and why? Please comment below!

Tell me how you feel about this question! What senses matter more outside the bedroom, and which ones are the core factors in love-making? You love seeing the world, but maybe your significant other is the world. You risk losing one sense for life, just to make love to them that one time. Obviously, they are not an option, they are your priority. How do you prioritize your senses?

Thank you for reading. Sweet dreams! Keep them dry! Ok, fine, just don’t drown!

Take care!

The Ultimate Sacrifice for Love; Makes Sense to Deny Participation