Why Do People Have Sex?; Surveying Sexual Preferences

The sexual frustration builds up this week for many passionate couples ready for a romantic Valentine’s Day. The hopeless romantics looking for a casual date hesitate for the final decision. A recommendation for anyone to follow is effective communication and body language. Pay close attention to what they say, how they say it, and what they do while they are expressing their feelings. A complimentary way of using terms of endearment, regardless of the relationship status, is extremely healthy for anyone to try. The mutual attraction for each other through verbal communication is never enough to satisfy physical intimacy. The two lovers must have a better understanding of how actions speak louder than words. The strong emotional and physical connection for the two may entice more romantic nights after Valentine’s Day.

Michael Castleman published an article in Psychology Today on November 15, 2010. The article surfaced the Internet via HoneyColony.com. According to Castleman, men believe that the woman’s physical characteristics play an important role in sexual attraction. The women desire more of an emotional connection with their partner instead. The reason to engage in sex varies depending on the person, but a recent study surveyed 442 people for the overall purpose of sexual intercourse. The rewarding results of the survey provide a clear understanding of sexuality between men and women.

Sexy Survey

Researchers have generally assumed that people have sex for one or more of three reasons: to have children, to experience sexual pleasure, and to cement relationships. Turns out there are more than that — 234 more.

Psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss, of the University of Texas at Austin, surveyed 442 people, aged 17 to 52, asking just one question: “List all the reasons why you or those you know have engaged in sexual intercourse.”

The myth is that men and women are emotionally very different. An old saying illustrates this: Women have sex to become intimate. Men become intimate to have sex. There’s some truth to this. But surprisingly, in the Meston-Buss survey, eight of the top 10 reasons why men and women have sex and 20 of the top 25 are remarkably similar:

Women’s Reasons For Having Sex (from most to least frequently expressed)

1. I felt attracted to the person.
2. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
3. It feels good.
4. I wanted to show my affection for my partner.
5. I wanted to express my love for my partner.
6. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
7. I felt horny.
8. It’s fun.
9. I realized I was in love.
10. I was swept up in the heat of the moment.
11. I wanted to please my partner.
12. I wanted emotional closeness/intimacy.
13. I wanted the pure pleasure.
14. I wanted an orgasm.
15. It’s exciting, adventurous.
16. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
17. The person’s physical appearance turned me on.
18. It was a romantic setting.
19. The person really desired me.
20. The person made me feel sexy.
21. The person caressed me.
22. It seemed like the natural next step in the relationship.
23. I wanted to become one with the person.
24. It just happened.
25. I wanted to deepen our emotional bond.

Men’s Reasons For Having Sex

1. I was attracted to the person.
2. It feels good.
3. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
4. It’s fun.
5. I wanted to show my affection for the person.
6. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
7. I felt horny.
8. I wanted to express my love for the person.
9. I wanted an orgasm.
10. I wanted to please my partner.
11. The person’s physical appearance turned me on.
12. I wanted the pure pleasure.
13. I was swept up in the heat of the moment.
14. I desired emotional closeness/intimacy.
15. It’s exciting/adventurous.
16. The person had a desirable body.
17. I realized I was in love.
18. The person had an attractive face.
19. The person really desired me.
20. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
21. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
22. I wanted the experience.
23. It was a romantic setting.
24. The person caressed me.
25. The person made me feel sexy.

The myth is that men are obsessed with sex, while women view it as a way to deepen relationships. Not quite. The top three reasons why both men and women become sexual have nothing to do with either horniness or love. They are based on attraction and pleasure. Men and women gave the same priority to horniness (No. 7) and almost the same to expressing love (No. 5 for women, No. 8 for men), and feeling closeness/intimacy (No. 12 for women No. 14 for men).

Americans focus a good deal of attention on sexual victimization (rape, incest, pedophilia, sexual harassment, etc.), and using sex for personal gain (money, a job, a promotion, drugs, etc.) These turn out to be among the least frequent reasons for having sex.

Women’s 10 Least Frequent Reasons For Having Sex

237. I wanted to spread a sexually transmitted disease.
236. Someone offered me money to do it.
235. I wanted to get a raise.
234. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
233. I wanted to get a job.
232. I wanted to get a promotion.
231. The person offered me drugs to do it.
230. I wanted to punish myself.
229. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
228. I wanted to feel closer to God.

Men’s 10 Least Frequent Reasons for Having Sex

237. The person offered me drugs to do it.
236. I wanted to spread a sexually transmitted disease.
235. I wanted to punish myself.
234. I wanted to break up my relationship.
233. I wanted to get a job.
232. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
231. Someone offered me money to do it.
230. I feared physical harm if I said no.
229. I wanted to make money.
228. I wanted to feel closer to God.

Of course, men and women are different, and despite the similarities just mentioned, they have different reasons for having sex. The researchers calculated the reasons for sex that differed the most by gender.

The Top 10 Largest Gender Differences

1. The person wore revealing clothes. Stated significantly more often by men than women.
2. I wanted to feel masculine. More men.
3. I wanted to relieve “blue balls.” More men.
4. I wanted to feel feminine. More women.
5. The person had a desirable body. More men.
6. The person was available. More men.
7. The person’s appearance turned me on. More men.
8. It’s fun. More men.
9. I wanted to have an orgasm. More men.
10. The opportunity presented itself. More men.

Men were much more likely to have sex based on women’s physical characteristics: desirable body, attractive face, she turned me on. This finding supports a great deal of research showing that men are sexually stimulated by visual cues (for example, pornography).

Women were more likely to have sex based on its contribution to a relationship: I wanted to express my love. I wanted deeper emotional closeness. Again, this finding supports other research showing that most women prefer sex in the context of a committed relationship.

So why do men and women have sex? For more reasons than most people think.

Meston, CM and DM Buss. “Why Humans Have Sex,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2007) 36:477.

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Why Do People Have Sex?; Surveying Sexual Preferences

Finding Chivalry; Discussion on Chivalry and Materialistic Relationships

New England Connecticut Snow
East Hartford, Connecticut

The historical Northeastern blizzard, dubbed Nemo, left millions of Americans waking up with snow between 6 to 40 inches on Saturday morning. A free gym membership from Mother Nature left a rewarding opportunity for some Americans to pursue the haul. The other Americans have decided between sleep, relaxation, or free time outside without shoveling. In Connecticut, one suburban man left his age behind when the dust blew off his snowmobile in his garage. The inner youth rekindled inside, while his partner struggled to shovel their walkway. Boys will be boys, but chivalry weakened when boys bought their own toys.  The second part of this article will primarily focus on a brief discussion on chivalry in modern dating, while briefly covering the impact of materialistic relationships on long-term commitments. I intend to publish a future post with discussion question results and concluding messages. The impact of the snow shoveling on my body has taken its toll. All requests for sensual back massages are welcomed in the comment section below.

Rest in Panama

Woman Looks for Husband
Woman Left Behind Shoveling Walkway

Chivalry is not lost or dead, but recently on vacation in Panama while everyone else in the Northeast is left to shovel a few feet of snow. A Connecticut woman stands in the snow watching her partner ride his snowmobile up and down the street. The only assumption to take from this is that his final decision is to play hard and work later. In the following pictures, the knight in shining armor comes flying through the snow down the street. Then, he figures out what to do next when his snowmobile sits on the sidewalk in front of his neighbor’s house.

The guy looks back to see if she actually cares to watch him. She finally decides to stop shoveling, and he followed  as soon as he picked up his toys. They never finished the driveway and the sidewalk until later in the day.

If you would like to take part in Part II of this post, please answer the following discussion questions below. I will be more than happy to acknowledge you and your blogs in the next publication. Please note that they are not all mandatory. Just answer enough to engage in a discussion for my next post.

Discussion Questions 

  1. Where is chivalry? Is it really dead, lost, or not as transparent in society? Please explain your answer!
  2. Do you believe chivalry is important in modern society? Modern dating?
  3. Have you ever experienced chivalry, whether it was directly to you or witnessed?
  4. Have you ever rekindled or revived chivalry?
  5. How do you feel about materialistic relationships? Have you ever been in one? Could you explain the pros and cons involved in that relationship? Did your partner have too many possessions? Was this your fault by spoiling them with materialistic love?
  6. Ladies: If you were this woman in this same situation, what would you do? How would you feel if your man decides to go play in the snow while you shovel the walkway? Remember – he drives down the street and leaves you for a while. 
  7. Guys: Do you hold off on using the snowmobile to help with the shoveling, or do you take an advantage of the road covered in a few feet of snow?
  8. What is one inspirational thing everyone can do to revive or rekindle chivalry?

Thank you all for understanding my sore aching body problems from Nemo. I’ve been trying to take it easy all day, but I could never leave you all wondering when the next publication will be! I hope you all have an amazing week ahead! 新年快乐! 太好了! Happy Chinese New Year! I am an Earth Snake! It’s my year to shine!




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Finding Chivalry; Discussion on Chivalry and Materialistic Relationships

The Impact of Disney’s Love Stories on Modern Dating

The structure of a childhood in the 90’s was greatly influenced by Walt Disney’s animated movie series playing on repeat. This indulgence of entertainment is very similar to the new generation exposed to SpongeBob SquarePants and Dora the Explorer. Mr. Walt Disney experienced a rough childhood growing up on his family farm, but his passion for commercial art lead him into the right direction for Hollywood fame. In 1937, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was an inspirational turning point in his entire life. Disney’s animated debut of his touching love story was a life changing moment for any hopeless romantic looking for true love.

Social, familial, religious and media influences continuously refine the new era of relationships and romance to guide the future of young hopeless romantics. The impact of Disney’s classics on older generations is greatly hindered by the new social influences. The important step forward is to read an article that focuses on rekindling inspirational messages from our adolescence. We must focus on reality while applying some important ideas from fantasy and fairy tale. A greater emphasis on how to achieve these messages is vital information for the health of any relationship. Although Disney stirred up some controversial sexual appetite within subliminal messaging, I will focus on the simplistic messages that everyone must take into their own relationships for 2013. This article will primarily focus on some of the Disney princesses and princes, as well the men who are not necessarily receiving that royal entitlement. The important message behind every love story is discussed, as well as some advice on effectively applying these messages into the modern style of dating.

Snow White ~ A Christms Fantasy Parade

Snow White and the Prince

Guten morgen, Schneewittchen! In the early 1890’s, Mrs. Klara Hitler Pölzl must have read baby Adolf the German version of Snow White throughout his adolescence.  Although Hitler’s love story after exchanging vows with Eva Braun lasted for only 40 hours, Snow White and Prince Ferdinand has a legacy of true love since their first embrace. I may emphasize on vanity for a moral lesson in this fairy tale, but materialistic measures might be too obvious. Although stating the obvious is not as effective as anticipated, feelings and emotions are always misunderstood or not acknowledged.

The Brothers Grimm, producers of the original German version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, left the dwarfs unidentified.  Disney created names for the seven dwarfs to symbolize seven feelings that may or may not contribute to the seven deadly sins.  Regardless of their intentions, these feelings cannot be ignored in any relationship. I advocate for effective communication, but body language is an important part of that understanding. Actions do speak louder than words, but some actions are often pushed aside. While you communicate with your partner, make sure to notice their body movement and presentation. If you are single, learn how to analyze your date when they are representing the seven feelings portrayed in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. By the end of the month, you are able to differentiate between being happy and bored, as well as agitated and depressed. Although Doc does not represent a feeling or emotion, he does represent intelligence. In that perspective, understand the difference between your partner’s sarcasm and their brutally honest opinions. In a literal sense, find out how they are being smart with you.  Lastly, give each other compliments every other day. Although terms of endearment are healthy for any relationship, try not to overwhelm their self-esteem into an issue of vanity. If you notice your partner is talking to a mirror, question them about it. Reassure them that the mirror is dirty, and you see everything clear in your own eyes.

Cinderella and Prince Charming

Cinderella & Prince Charming

Bonjour, ma chérie Cendrillion! In 1697, Charles Perrault produced Cendrillon, the original French version of Cinderella, before Disney made it into an animated feature-length film in 1950. The moral of this love story is simple – work your ass off under guardian authority until your fortune comes knocking at your door with your glass slipper.  In reality, only those who work hard will achieve fortunate success in the future. A person’s emotional strength is more important with this lesson than to think about financial or economic conditions. If someone can hold off commitment for true love, let it happen naturally throughout their daily lifestyle. Regardless if there is no set of directions or manual to live life, challenging social and familial barriers will hold someone back from achieving their life ambitions. If you have a dysfunctional family, join the club. You might feel unimportant, worthless, and stuck in the middle of a lot of bullshit. Seriously, talk to me about it. Cinderella’s support was very limited, but she was fortunate enough that her Fairy Godmother was not listed in Craigslist.

I want you to find a comfort zone with a supportive network of people willing to help you realize that you are an important person in society. If you are in an abusive relationship, whether the situation is with family or a partner, never carry out that negative energy to the people around you. Regardless if Cinderella had family treating her like shit, she was always an amazing woman outside her home. Guys, everyone has baggage. If your Cinderella is experiencing overwhelming circumstances, take Prince Charming’s determination to move forward. Mr. Charming did not judge her in any shape or form, but he felt an instant connection with Cinderella at the ball.  Regardless if a woman leaves you after an amazing night, follow your heart to fill the vacant space between your fingers and arms. Seriously, this is a love story where two people meet for the first time, and experience love at first dance. Find some way to connect with your partner emotionally by being there for them when they need it the most.

Aurora and Prince Phillip

A Christmas Fantasy: Princess Aurora, Prince P...

On January 29th, 1959, Sleeping Beauty released a few months before the birth of my two lovely parents.  Mr. Perrault produced another romantic masterpiece, La Belle au bois dormant, that inspired Disney to pursue another animated sensation. Congratulations if you were never cursed at birth with an evil bitch fairy similar to Maleficent. Princess Aurora was very fortunate to have good fairies to bestow gifts upon her that would change her life forever. Maleficient cast a curse upon Princess Aurora shortly before Merryweather bestowed her gift to the newborn princess.  Merryweather decided to amend the original curse cast upon the baby with something less extreme than the death from a spindle on a spinning wheel during her sixteenth birthday.

Although a deep ageless slumber for 100 years sounds reassuring, a true love’s first kiss does not necessarily happen overnight for a sixteen year old.  This love story has an arranged marriage behind it, but there is so much more to learn from this fairy tale. The greatest advice someone can take from this story into their own love life is to drink responsibly for Thirsty Thursday when they hang out with their girlfriends. No, seriously, a random prince is not going to kiss you shortly after your hangover in the morning to wake you up. In all seriousness, 100 years is an extensively long time to wait for true love.

Young adolescent infatuations motivate two innocent individuals to move forward towards maturity and responsibility. A misunderstanding of love and infatuated feelings can break many young hearts before they realize the structure of a stable relationship. If someone loves another person, they can wait for another year after they both exchange conversations and develop understanding for each other. If Prince Phillip can wait 100 years to find true love, anyone can wait for another year before making anything official. Patience is primarily the easiest thing to have for any relationship, but love is worth the wait. If you are planning a future ahead together, just stop unless you are both engaged. Live each day to the fullest one heart beat at a time taking things slow and steady for as long as you can handle. If two people can handle being in an unofficial relationship with each other for a while, you can both understand the true value of true love.

Ariel and Prince Eric 

Ariel and Prince Eric

Although the year 1959 started off great, Princess Aurora was the last princess under Walt Disney’s management. On December 15, 1966, Mr. Disney was 65 years old when he passed in St. Joseph’s Hospital at 9:35 A.M. with an acute circulatory collapse from lung cancer.  In 1837, Hans Christian Andersen produced Disney’s little Danish seawoman in Den lille havfrue who later became Ariel in The Little Mermaid released in 1989. Although I was born on September 3rd, 1989, I was too young to understand the reasoning behind a young woman in search for love outside her own sea kingdom. Ariel’s love story is very similar to the young Amish community willing to step outside their norm to check out the city. Ursula’s human package deal in exchange for Ariel’s voice might be too much for love, but in three days a true love’s first kiss might be the most rewarding challenge any young teenager would face. Although Ursula used Vanessa against Ariel’s attempt with Eric, Ursula played very dirty to hinder a young couple from discovering true love.

The best advice for anyone, especially sixteen years old, taken from this Disney production is to realize how American culture is changing because of something very similar to this love story. Whether there is an interest in watching 16 and Pregnant or understanding that life is not easy by growing up too fast, no young woman should leave their family and friends behind for a chance at love.  However, one important message from Ursula is to use body language. Yes, body language is very effective for anyone without a voice in the relationship – literally. I cannot emphasize this enough – just learn about each other without speaking. For the scene where this happens, watch the following clip:

Belle and Prince Adam

Beauty and the Beast

In 1756, Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont, author of La Belle et la Bête, never imagined to inspire Disney to recapture Beauty and the Beast in 1991 as an animated love story. Whether you agree or disagree, this was one of the most dramatic and powerful love stories throughout Disney’s history. An enchantress disguised as an old woman panhandling and looking for shelter during Christmas night changes a young prince’s life forever. She offers the selfish young prince a rose in exchange for warmth and shelter.  The prince had a cold heart in a luxurious warm place to stay, but felt disgusted from the beggar’s appearance outside his door. The prince was instantly transformed into a hideous monster with beastly features. The Beast’s servants are all transformed into furniture and other household items that later encourage him to break the spell with the rose that has his life on hold. The Beast must find love, but not unrequited love, until his 21st birthday. If all the rose petals have fallen off, he will remain a hideous beast for his entire life.

The main message is not only that looks are deceiving, or the agreeable statement that inner beauty will only be more attractive when someone ignores their egotistical nature. The main message is to marry someone for love, and nothing but love. In addition, another main message here is to treat others the way you would like to be treated. If you are with someone for physical attraction, leave them. If you know someone is with you solely for your appearance, leave them. If you feel lust instead of love, change something about your current situation. Unfortunately, we will all age into old, wrinkly beasts. All that will be left is our inner beauty, and hopefully the person you marry is someone who can respect that permanent overall appearance from you.

Jasmine and Aladdin

Aladdin and Jasmine

你好吗?Disney’s Middle Eastern folk tale Aladdin in 1992 was originally set in China, making Aladdin explicitly Chinese.  The Book of One Thousand and One Nights was never popular in American culture, but Alladin was one of the few stories from the book which played a significant role in understanding Middle Eastern culture.

Jasmine, the Sultan’s daughter, experiences the same feeling as Ariel, but Jasmine wants to escape her duties of being a princess and step away from her luxurious lifestyle of royalty in the palace.  Jasmine meets Aladdin, a street rat, in an Arabian marketplace ran by peasants trying to make ends-meat. Jasmine wants to marry someone for true love, but her father insists that the law requires a royal marriage by the following year. Aladdin uses his Genie to grant wishes, but the Genie denies from granting any wish that involves true love. Aladdin’s social status in Agrabah is nothing to brag about to the Sultan, and Jasmine is strictly ordered to marry a prince. The important lesson in this love story is to be yourself, and always be honest. Regardless how your partner’s parents or friends feel about you, impress them with honesty.  Jasmine knew Aladdin was lying, but she only forgave him because he wanted to win her heart. Obviously, Jafar was no match made in heaven, but Aladdin had much more potential because his love for Jasmine was greater than Jafar’s love for superiority and power.

In honor of the ones I missed:

  • Pocahontas and Captain John Smith
  • Fa Mulan and Captain Li Shang
  • Tiana and Prince Naveen
  • Rapunzel and Flynn Rider

On the Edge of Rapunzel’s Forest 

  • Simba and Nala 

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The Impact of Disney’s Love Stories on Modern Dating

Relaxing on First Base; A Brief Survey on Kissing Preferences

French Kiss

Physical intimacy is a healthy way of expressing our passionate sides to complete strangers or lovers. I appreciate the successful turn out for volunteers on my last poll. I will be writing a Part III very soon to conclude my thoughts about the results. I am looking forward on writing more about physical intimacy with the results from this poll as well. Please provide as much information as possible, including two detailed responses for the two questions requiring more information to fill out. All participants are not subjected to answer all the optional questions, including name or website address. However, there is acknowledgement for all participants willing to submit their website address for their voluntary contribution. All participants are aware that their information is not used for anything else other than the next blog publication. My intentions for the next blog publication are kept secret until the official publication of the results. I want more than seven submissions this time! I will hold off on ending this poll shortly before Valentine’s Day. Please reblog this or share the link to your friends. That would be greatly appreciated!



 Erogenous Zone? 

Total Submissions: 


Number 22
Number 22 (Photo credit: beckycaplice)


Note: I will be updating this section as soon as I receive the submissions.


3:04 PM EST 02/04/13:  Wow! Twenty-two (22)  submissions already? That is amazing! Thanks everyone!


I have to label the questions as (1), (2), (3) because it only registered one “Would You Rather,” so expect a message from me shortly to verify your answers. Sorry for the inconvenience! If you did not provide your website, then please resubmit and mention that you resubmitted within the response. I was wondering why everyone was skipping the questions! It is now working.

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Relaxing on First Base; A Brief Survey on Kissing Preferences

Feline Foreplay; How to Seduce Your Lover with Purrfection

Holly, my Tortoiseshell Persian, age 4.

A cat owner is most likely a sensualist with expertise on how to make their pussy purr. A soft gentle massaging rub through its hair makes a sudden rush of gratification. If the pace is effectively right, the beautiful feline friend will sprawl out and open up to their owner’s sensual touch. A dog is a man’s best friend, but a cat has much more to offer. 

My whole life revolved around Himalayan and Persian cats with distinct personalities. I mentioned about Holly, my Tortoiseshell Persian, in my recently published post. My blog post for today will primarily focus on how to use your affection towards your cat to convert it to experience points for seduction with your love life. I am a sensualist because of the way I treat my cats. I never really thought about it until now.  The mutual exchange of affection with my cats helped me become more aware of sensual intimacy with my love life. I never imagined writing about this topic, but these ideas about achieving sensuality experience with a furry friend are invaluable to my blog. If you have a cat, you will understand most of what I am saying. If you have a dog, try to keep up with them from being too forward with you when you lean over to practice.


Head Butts

Furry head butts are extremely playful non-verbal cues of kitty body language. If you lean forward, the cat might bump its head into yours. If you are standing on the floor, your furry friend is most likely ready to play Jaws circling around your legs for the first move. You should also consider something like this strategy towards affectionate attention to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Guys, I do not recommend the way you would imagine head butting your girlfriend. Although head butting suggests striking a head against someone’s forehead, carefully use your nose as a guide! Most women crave the simple remedies of sensual intimacy. I emphasized why communication is important for rekindling relationships in my article, “A Road Trip on a Cul-de-Sac; Rekindling Relationship Butterflies.” The idea of communicating effectively with both verbal and non-verbal cues can send your way to an extremely rewarding night. If  your boyfriend or girlfriend never received a forehead kiss from you yet, start learning now. Before you make that move to kiss their forehead, act like a playful kitten by rubbing your nose against their forehead. If you are sick with a stuffy nose, you better run after it before you make a mess all over their face! Try to stay away from being sick the day you make your feline attempt.

The Transition 

By exchanging playful nose glides across your lover’s forehead, an instant rush of dopamine will help relax the body for a reasonable comfort zone. Try not to overwhelm the situation, but transition with a forehead kiss after at least three glides. The next step is to transition from their forehead to their cheek. Stay on one side of the face to avoid any confusion that you are going to make the next move on their lips. When you kiss their cheek, then you should transition into Eskimo kisses. If you never Eskimo kissed your cat before, you should start doing that now too! A prolonged playful exchange of two noses gliding against each other can warm up the comfort zone. Guys, this is extremely important if you were never this close to her face. The impression that you are not going to kiss them right away builds up the suspense for that next move. If you follow through and complete everything I said, I would recommend something off the topic of what you should not do with your cat.

If you teasingly brush your lips across your lovers’ lips, watch them beg for an actual kiss. The suspense and awkward feeling of making that first attempt to kiss is always overwhelming. The perfect transition from Eskimo kissing is to move further down straight from their nose. You are already there at their face, just lean in and plant a soft one! If you try Eskimo kissing your cat, be as soft and gentle as possible. They will let you know when things are awkward.


In general, I would recommend running your fingers through your lover’s hair while you kiss your lover. If you caress their scalp, you will have them relaxed and ready for your next moves. I massage Holly’s head without the kisses, but you can understand your cat’s body language when you try to make them happy. A cat is very picky about how you touch them. Men and women are also the same way. Never assume that it is perfectly acceptable to tug their hair. You do not want to make that kitty hiss! When you figure out an effective technique on how you massage their scalp, work on the pace. You should never give them a noogie! Balance out everything, and you can now move on further.

cat neck
cat neck (Photo credit: Matt Dinkins)


Men and women have erogenous zones located all over their body for potential gratification and possible arousal. I am not going to guarantee instant gratification and arousal, so claiming it as a potential or possible opportunity would be accurately evaluated. I am not into earlobe sucking, but I do prefer to focus most of my attention on their neck. A cat will never reach their neck without the help of someone else scratching it for them. It is the same idea as someone else scratching that one area of your back that you will never reach without a wooden back scratcher. If you caress their neck and fully enjoy teasing it, results will immediately confirm the effectiveness of your approach. This also works well with cats. Your cat will only lift its head up in the air for a short time while you scratch its neck. If you keep the head positioned right, it will be fine with your affectionate love.

The most rewarding experience from teasing someone’s neck is interpreting the body language of that person. If you softly blow across their neck, they might bite their bottom lip. This is generally a sign of approval. If they seem disgusted or not interested, you probably did something wrong. Unless they are ticklish, excessive laughter is a red flag for not taking you seriously. Try not to overkill the blow. You are not a tornado! The next step you should take with you is the tip of your tongue. The size does matter for tongues because less is usually more. You never need the entire full length of the tongue to deliver a great rush of dopamine throughout their body. I would not recommend licking your cat’s neck, but please communicate with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you make this attempt. Tell them why it feels awkward, and suggest something else to them. When you run the tip of your tongue across their neck, you can perfectly transition into kissing. The slightest touch on the neck is the best advice I could give you. Try to give them the lightest kiss possible. They will most likely squirm and beg for more. Switch it up and give them a kiss every other minute. Try the Search and Peck technique that a typist would use, but with the neck. Pick a spot, kiss it and slowly search for another. The object of this game is to prolong the foreplay, but enhance the quality. When you are successful with this section, it is time to dive into something even warmer.


If you are a professional or amateur masseuse or masseur, requests for a simple back massage is extremely demanding. Everyone loves a full body massage when they have a busy work schedule, especially from their own lover. Most mammals enjoy physical intimacy through skin to skin contact, regardless of the relationship status. Unfortunately, prolonged foreplay is either non-existent or lacks the most effective approaches for arousal. A cat will voice its opinions on how you stroke their fur. It may hiss or feel annoyed when you are rubbing too hard or awkwardly moving your hand around to make them uncomfortable. Men and women will also have this similarity with their bodies as well. Try to caress their neck while you run your lips further down to their nipples. When you start to explore different areas, erogenous zones build up with sensual desire when you stimulate them effectively. Although I do not recommend this with your cat, you can also communicate with your lover and suggest to experiment with food as well. When a cat allows you to massage their paws, and then you feel them extend their paws out to stretch, this is progress. They enjoy the relaxing pace, until you stop. When they open their eyes, look back at you, you know you spoiled them. Time to spoil your lover with unconditional love right meow!


  1. As a cat owner, do you feel like your cat has influenced your affectionate side? 
  2. As a dog owner, do you feel like you’re more dominant and rough with your love life?
  3. What is your favorite erogenous zone? How do you like it stimulated?
  4. What makes your pussy purr? Do you buy it toys or unconditional love?
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Feline Foreplay; How to Seduce Your Lover with Purrfection

A Road Trip on a Cul-de-Sac; Rekindling Relationship Butterflies

Megan asks,

” I would love to hear your opinions on how to make a relationship exciting again!  At the beginning, they are always so exciting and new and there’s always that mystery of, “when will he kiss me?” or “where will he take me to next?”.  As time goes by, it gets a little less exciting and new. What are you suggestions on this?”


Great question! As I am preparing everyone for Valentine’s Day next month, the New Year might have started off with false hopes and sugar-coated resolutions. A girlfriend can only hope that her boyfriend changes his douchebag ways, while the boyfriend might also feel the same way about his controlling princess. Your blog suggestion is intriguing for several reasons.

First, this is one of the oldest, yet unfortunate issues of relationships. Most relationships will never be resolved with enough advice for self-improvement and readjustment. The mixed feelings and lingering doubts will only cause more harm for the couple in the future. Secondly, men and women have commitment issues. Yeah, let’s face it, nobody is perfect. Although we can acknowledge our mistakes, we should never make them as an excuse to make the poor decisions about love and commitment. Everyone should learn how to curtail the feelings that entice immoral decisions, like cheating or home wrecking. The second chance debate is extremely difficult to discuss, especially for those reasons previously mentioned. I do not support cheating, especially from being the victim of that unfortunate experience. I also despise breaks or relationship recess, because there is no point in bringing it up unless someone wants freedom. If someone requests a mandatory break, go outside for fresh air. When you are outside long enough, come back and reconnect. The red flag raises high when someone has no interest to rekindle their relationship’s butterflies.

I could understand why someone would move on to a brighter flame. If the spark isn’t there, why would you sing campfire songs alone? Although most people search for answers through friends and family, others might rekindle past relationships. They are already comfortable with someone else, and the mutual connection for each other is still there. If your sex life isn’t the greatest, or not existent, you might also face the lack of interest from your lover. The best way to prevent someone you love from renewing their subscription with someone else is to step in and take action. No, I am not telling you to confront them like your own episode on Jerry Springer. I am telling you to communicate with them. Tell them how you feel and ask them for any suggestions on what should be done.

Well, I have some suggestions on the next steps ahead to rekindle those giggly times and wake up that inner child from a tediously long wait for their crush to return. I am willing to share my successful strategies on finishing what you started. Hop in the front seat, we are going for a long ride!

Fresh Car Smell 

The car dealership is like a dating website where you find your soul-mate in the form of a brand new car. Guys, you know exactly what I am talking about! Check out her exterior! Whether you are a rims guy or ready to rev her engine, there is so much more to learn from your new experience. Where do you start from there? How do you keep your driving record clean, stable and reputable without going back for a new car? Precisely! You get your car checked at the local auto-body repair shop! Yes, that entails a lot of communication. Communication is extremely important for a relationship to continue its strength and spontaneity for several years. The relationship itself might not necessarily be the only problem. Could it possibly be the people involved? Yes! Is someone ready to drive off the cliff because someone suddenly changed since the first day? That is not only a possibility,  but that is an issue for self-improvement.

An online German company, Racheshop.de, is selling beautiful Shine Star air fresheners to help clear the air from the lingering past. Is it possible to do the same for a conflicting relationship? Of course! Ladies, I am not here to tell you to change who you are, but refine yourself to shine with your greatest potential. You should never settle for less!You are so much better than that! Guys, I am also telling you the same thing. Spice up your relationship with something new to admire and appreciate. How does that work for an arguing couple? Just stop. Life is way too short to fight all the time! Just take a moment, breathe and sort through your differences. Hopefully, your similarities and interests can come to a consensus for the following relationship rekindling strategies.


Does your ride need a pimped out opportunity by Xzibit? Well, unfortunately for you, the last episode aired on May 24, 2007. So, what is the next option? Try a new wardrobe change! If your budget is tight, make some time to run in the morning or at night in your neighborhood. No, seriously, this is cheaper than a gym membership! When you start feeling better about yourself and how you look, others will notice the gradual change in your appearance and attitude. Does your lover secretly want you to pursue a mini makeover? This is not as fancy as an extreme makeover, but just enough to make an unexpected impact on them. If exercise and diet isn’t an option, regardless of the circumstances, talk to them. Please understand why they are feeling the way they do, and what they miss about what you once had when you started talking. If this is an intimate issue, be open about it when you are both alone, and away from others.

The car manual is forever alone. This handy booklet is rarely taken out for attention from the glove compartment. Guys, I recommend reading my article, “The Art of Seduction; Revealing the Sensualist Perspective,” to understand her exterior the right way. If you had no idea in the beginning, or you need some advice to build on to your previous knowledge, treat that as a manual. Ladies, while he reads that, I recommend, “An Erotic Masterpiece; A Painting of One Thousand Words,” to patiently wait for his return. If that doesn’t work out for the exterior part of this post, then there is something wrong with the interior.


You two have been together for a reasonable time. If the attraction is still there, there is a catalytic situation inside. What could be the catalyst for a sudden change in personality? Can idealistic traits deteriorate into undesirable ones? The social distractions of meeting new people or hanging out in different places might hinder interests.  People lose a lot of hope from being deprived of spontaneity with a pessimistic partner. They know they are with someone draining their energetic side into a dark hole of regret. The best way to resolve this issue is to seek help outside the relationship with people you can trust. If professional help seems a bit much, try some free advice with me.

I recommend opening up with each other by exercising your freedom of expression. If that isn’t enough, learn what love really stands for when you express yourself. That is the key to success in the health of your relationship. Now, how do you open up with someone distant? Try snuggling with them, and reconnect at a physical level before tackling the emotional level. If you engage in something sensual, keep it light. Relax and enjoy the quality time together. Then, reconnect with their passionate side. Everyone has one, but not everyone understands the powerful impact you can have with your senses. When you finally start talking, opening up more and exploring each other’s interests, you can move forward to casual dates out in public. Keep it simple like a walk in the park or take a city bus down to a local event. If you live in the rural areas, check out Mother Nature’s breathtaking appearance. Just stay away from the drama, and understand why quality time together is extremely important. Quality time together does not necessarily mean more sex!

Speed Bumps

Slow down! You guys are well over the speed limit! There is no excuse for your relationship to go full speed ahead when it starts heating up because something rekindled your passionate drive for each other. If your relationship hits a brick wall, someone is at risk for upsetting feelings. Try an incentive program in your relationship before you schedule too much intimacy in one week. You both overwhelm with lust, and you will only become dependent on those feelings. Keep the relationship balanced with unconditional and sensual love. Play games with each other to prolong the intimacy. Although Christmas has passed, I would suggest playing in the snow and baking cookies from my article, “A Lover’s Christmas List; Top Five Things to Do in December“. If you live in warmer climates, I suggested sand angels in that post as well. There are plenty of alternatives to help the growth and development of your relationship. Just keep it steady, and keep your eyes ahead of you . You must face the unexpected, and step down on the brakes as soon as something comes up.

Highway to Heaven 

Let’s run down the five basic strategies for rekindling those relationship butterflies. Let me show you what you should really ‘C’ out of this one:

  1. Continuing Commitment
  2. Considering Communication 
  3. Contributing Compliments
  4. Combating Conflicts
  5. Caressing Cuddles

Are We There Yet? 

Yes! Congratulations! You will be able to rekindle your relationship if you follow my article, engage with your lover, and sort out those differences with each other. If nothing seems to work after that, I am sorry to say, but it is time to give them a sincere breakup. Tell them, “We’re not romantically compatible, but I see no reason to end everything we have together.”


In a concluding thought, there is a misunderstanding between domestic violence and tough love. I am here to sort things out, and put an end to that unnecessary abuse. Ladies, if he lays an aggressive hand on you, please tell someone you trust about it. Once is enough, and there should never be a second time. You should never allow a second time to happen by ignoring the first time. Yeah, I understand you’re scared to tell someone. Look, that is not tough love, but domestic abuse. In addition, marital rape is nothing to ignore. If anyone is aggressive to another person under, especially taking an advantage of being together, take further action. Never feel pressured to have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you feel obligated to do that with them. If you ever feel this way, regardless of the circumstances, organize your resources and talk to people about it. Thank you. I wish the best of luck in the health of all your relationships for 2013.

Take care.


Mr. Charming 

If you have any blog suggestions, let me know! I love challenges!

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A Road Trip on a Cul-de-Sac; Rekindling Relationship Butterflies

A Caricature of Love; Prinze Charming’s Ideal Girlfriend

Danielle asks,

“Hey you! I’m actually wondering what you would look for in the ideal girlfriend? You always leave interesting comments on my blog so enlighten me.”


Hey, how are you? You might have realized by now that my two blogs are primarily focused on dating and relationships. Whether something intrigued your mind by some posts and  emotionally connected your heart by the explicit publications, you should have a mixed impression of what interests me the most about what I write. Then, you wonder how you should connect my posts to my personal love life. What is there to read between the lines?

Well, let me give you an exercise that will change your perception on the smallest details of language. The way people express themselves will always have more information than what was originally expressed. I will briefly summarize my posts for the last two months that I have been here. Then, you will instantly have an idea of my ideal girlfriend. It might seem as a caricature of love, but we all know those fun fair souvenirs are always distorted. Honestly, that is precisely how I feel about my soul mate. They are simply a caricature, and I am patiently waiting for their realistic image of perfection within my own eyes.

A New Beginning – Did I seriously say, “intrigue the mind, visually stimulate the soul, and manipulate the heart to work faster to entice and fulfill a hopeless romantic’s deprivation of a dopamine high” at the end? If that is a proposal from an author’s perspective, how would a boyfriend treat his own girlfriend that way?

Chaotic Intentions –  I discussed a lot of moves that would make an introvert uncomfortable, yet leaving her euphoric after my sensual dedication. Is being an introvert a disadvantage, especially romantically disadvantaged from bad experiences? What if they have a social bubble that cannot be popped? Is there a greater possibility of a relationship with someone who isn’t as passionate as I am? Confidence is sexy, but how far is too far for an extrovert to, literally, push me off the bed?

Suggestion B0x: How To Guides? –  As Roz from Monsters, Inc. would say, “Well, isn’t that nice. ” Yeah, this is a thankful post on Thanksgiving! It wasn’t as heartfelt as most have written that day, but it delivers the right message. Instantly, you think about the value of family and friends. I want someone who can value themselves and the people around them. I also want someone to express themselves effectively.  If you dig deeper into the meaning behind that, you would conclude that I want someone who would value unconditional love over materialistic love.

Symbolic Flames; Temporary Rush – Yes, I’ll admit, this was a filler post where I decided to add a picture for shits and gigs. This is nothing to brag about, but a moment where I was enjoying a backyard campfire with my dad. I just bought my camera earlier that year, and that was my first attempt at firetography. I heard a picture is worth a thousand words. How many words can you find through this poorly taken image? Hopefully, you look beyond the woman soon engulfed in flames. That will be for a deeper discussion. However, focus on warmth. Yeah, warmth might be temporary, but I want someone to rekindle my childhood by being as spontaneous as fire. I want someone to get the job down by burning through the day, but they also move away from the source. They move on from the past, and drift away in the wind. Oh, you should also reconsider the campfire if your neighbor has their white shirts out to dry. Yeah, I would recommend running away as fast as you can!

English: A young woman and man embracing while...

L.O.V.E – Listen, Organize, Value, Express? That sounds more like idealistic traits that will lead into love, and not being a writing technique! Oh, I might be on to something. When I mentioned that you should “listen to your heart before you write,” you should carefully read the rest of the post. This article will engage you with many ideas to think about, and characteristics that would pop out the most. Did you notice when I said something original and inspirational? A closer look:

“Baby, fear that I am here for only tonight, but hope that your butterflies can handle tomorrow’s hangover of yesterday’s fantasies.”

Yeah, did you get it? No, it’s not just a passionate or romantic qualification. Originality and creativity is another requirement. I want someone to speak their heart out without referring to quotes they once heard. I want a girlfriend just as poetic as I am.

The Ultimate Sacrifice for Love; Makes Sense to Deny Participation – Wow, what a warm post! If you didn’t spot any of my turn ons, you could have been easily distracted. That’s fine. It happens all the time! While I still have all my senses functioning, did you think about any possible characteristics that my ideal girlfriend would have? In the intimacy department, I would suggest this post. A concluding thought would be, “I want the woman willing to be a little girl out in the field of flowers, but also the one laying the petals along the bed at night.”

A Lover’s Christmas List; Top Five Things to Do in December – It’s plain and simple, ladies. Be spontaneous. Please? Is that too much to ask? No, there is no sexual part to this. Yes, please be affectionate. Do you have to bake? No, hence why I mentioned about the slice and bake cookies! Do you have to like the snow? Snow way! I just want to spend quality time with them regardless of the circumstances. If they can’t loosen up or balance their wild side, making things less awkward, I am not interested.

The Art of Seduction; Revealing the Sensualist Perspective – Seriously, if you did not feel any warmth from this post, I am not interested. If you are not comfortable with this post, I am not interested. I cannot emphasize enough on intimacy with this post. I want a girlfriend who can appreciate this post and understand that she is not a body to me. I want her to realize that she deserves more than just sex. I want to make love to her, and make her feel accepted through my actions. I want someone who can throw away their insecurities just to appreciate their fullest capabilities of being aroused. However, a really great point arose by one of my Word Press friends.

As Authorteasereadings mentioned, “Seduction is simple….keeping someone interested is the hard part …people are disposable…and yes, you may quote me.” I replied back, “I am glad someone else believes that too. You are precisely right! We have those who are seducible, but not interested. Then, we have those who are interested, but not seducible.” I want someone who can balance out being seducible and interested.

snuggling-nuggets (Photo credit: Spring Dew)

No Strings Attached Snuggling; The Trending Sensual Intentions Surrounded by Sexual Misconceptions – Whoa, was that a research paper or a blog article? Sorry, I miss Academia! I also miss snuggling. I have no strings attached snuggling when I can. I snuggled with someone I just met two days after Halloween last year. Was it amazing? Yes. A complete stranger pressed against me like two lovers after a long day at work. What more could I ask for? Sex? No! That would seriously ruin a simple embrace. In this post, I offered my S.N.U.G. technique to improve snuggling. Did you feel the hint or were you too busy listening to my heart beat faster? Yes, by the way, it is perfectly acceptable to snuggle with nuggets!

Lips Are Sealed; Holding Off a Perfect Moment with Bad Breath – Could I get any nicer than this? If you have bad breath, I am not being blunt about it. I will make the best of it under the circumstances of the stench. It takes away from putting her on the spot, and making things even more awkward. Regardless if you or I have bad breath, I would love to find someone who would still do what I mentioned in that post. If you’re my girlfriend, prove to me that you want to spend quality time together. If you’re too focused on everything around you, I am most likely going to notice and stop your chance at love with me.

Discovering Mr. Right; A Brief Analysis on Idealistic Male Traits – Touché! The amazing part of being a human is the complex personalities and characteristics we all share. If I am advocating for idealistic male traits, then there is a relevant connection to idealistic female traits as well. The transition is perfectly smooth. I hope the way I treat you comes back in return on how you treat me. That simple.

Ah, yes, Poetically Captivating’s first blog post, “An Erotic Masterpiece; A Painting of One Thousand Words,” was born. Now, I figured I would write a poetic blog, but this became my first blog postYeah, it’s not much of a standard poem, yet an erotic masterpiece of 1,000 words. Why? Well, I wanted to convey sensual romance and passionate love-making. If you couldn’t handle this, let alone the other previous explicit ones, I am sorry. You lost me. This was the last test to ask, “Are you ready? Can you handle my passionate side?” After a lot of re-blogs, I felt as if they all enjoyed what they read. You’re welcome! If you would like an audio version, by the way, please feel free to mention that in a comment below. Thank you for your suggestion. It would be quite convenient to upload it on your iTunes.

Architectural Relationships – Now, here’s the primary foundation of being a candidate for a prospective girlfriend. If you don’t understand my blueprints of architectural design in relationships, just leave. Seriously, the least anyone could do is follow these instructions to make sure to understand the difference between short-term and long-term commitments.

Floral Fixation covers the nurturing, stabilized side that I will always ask from an idealistic girlfriend. We covered snuggling as a physical touch, and then there’s an intimate sensual touch. However, this is a different touch. This is my proposal as a prospective boyfriend. If anything, just take it. I know this doesn’t sound much, but I want someone to take me as I am and what I have to offer. Do you feel as if I deserve someone better than you? Stop! Do you feel as if you don’t deserve someone as great as me? Stop! I had enough of those ridiculously stupid, yet hilarious excuses for breakups! Why would you ever allow yourself to lower your own standards? What the hell? I want strength and determination. Yeah, we have rough days, but when you have someone there for you – don’t ignore the opportunity or push it away. I am your boyfriend for a reason, but you fail to acknowledge it by worrying about what you shouldn’t have. 

Yu Hwang-Wu Caricature Hangul = 유황우 Hanja = 兪皇宇 Yu Hwang-Wu is a Korean foreign language expert, and CEO of Yu Hwang-Wu Korean Language Classroom, a Korea-based school of foreign languages (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thinking Outside the Fingers; Linguistic Enthusiasm and Cultural Awareness – Yeah, it was long. Yeah, I am extremely passionate about these topics. Honestly, not that I am against Americans, I wrote this post for my foreign viewers. I wanted to see what would happen if I mentioned anything about this on here in a diversified community. It was a pleasure to interact with someone with the same feelings as I do. This is another plain and simple concept to take from here. I want a culturally enthusiastic girlfriend with or without the linguistic or cultural background. If you want to travel, please dust off my passport. It needs fresh air! Would you like to learn a foreign language? That alone is an excuse to spend quality time together. If you make cultural jokes or stereotypes, being extremely offended over it is the least of your worries. However, I will most likely feel the urge to teach you something more useful about the culture or ethnicity you choose to describe.

Mr. Enchanting – Did you notice Mr. Enchanting’s initials? Don’t be that girlfriend who cheats on me with someone lower than what you deserve. Yeah, this poem was the complete opposite. It was bringing her out of the relationship to spend time with someone who will acknowledge her as a priority, not an option. Don’t ever let anyone push you down or walk all over you. I want someone stronger than that. No, that does not necessarily mean you are a bully to fight back, but someone who has thicker skin than the rest. You might have love scars, but I am not here to heal you on my own. Give yourself some credit to push yourself up from the ground. I’ll extend my hand, but you have to make that attempt of moving forward.

Parched Soul is the reason behind my commitment issues. I want a girlfriend, let alone a wife in this situation, who will be faithful to me. If you have excuses or lies coming out of a factory built inside your mouth, I will close it down myself without the force of the union. If we cannot set up a relationship before marriage, why should we have “concealed impressions upon exchanging vows” in the first place? You might say that you care, but you neglected me for whatever reason. Please, do us all a favor,  just let me go. I believe in quality time and unconditional love. If you waste my time doing something outside our relationship that might be malicious or distasteful, I have no interest in being with you.

A World Ending in Love; Squidward Tentacles Exchanged Vows with Pearl Krabs – The best thing you can do for me is smile. Show me that you have a sense of humor. Yeah, I mentioned creativity, but that can only extend to a limited distance.

Lastly, the New Year’s edition posts:

Twenty Less Than 3; A Compiled New Year’s Resolution Post has a brief discussion on love mentioning that it’s a, “cupid question” with “too many daggers, not enough aim.” What does that even mean? Let’s see if you’re right! Comment below and let’s see how imaginative you really are!

One Step Forward; A Brief Discussion on Controversial Resolutions for 2013 is about ambition and drive. Do you write your resolutions out? Fine. Do you follow them? Try again, tomorrow. As long as we are together, achieve what we desire to do, we can carry out more than just a silly compiled list of self-improvement.

Romantic Résumé; Marketing Yourself for Love in 2013 – Yeah, I am serious about this one! Show me your romantic résumé! Are you confident enough to market your Shakespearean drive for love? What makes you a qualifying candidate for the girlfriend position? Do you deserve a six figure salary of unconditional love? Do you deserve promotional forehead kisses and occasional raises under the sheets in the morning?  I am all about quality, and I don’t settle for less. I want the same. I want my girlfriend to wake up confident that I am simply hers and only hers. 

Oh, one last thing, did you notice the work experience? How could you miss it?


2003 – Present       Phone Sex Operator

Achieved outstanding customer service with women in search for romantic, intellectual indulgence of passion over the phone. The instant gratification of passionate language and seductive techniques will always be guaranteed. A catalyst for irregular heartbeats, hazy eyes, loss of voice, dry mouth, giggling or pure silence, bottom lip biting, wandering hands, and closed eyes imagining a vast array of erotic fantasies.

If that intrigues you, I recommend a free trial if you are within the United States. I will not only guarantee pure euphoric connection, but you will sleep so much better than before.

Well, as I reach nearly 2,600 words to describe my ideal girlfriend, I appreciate your interest to ask a personal question. If you need anything else, let me know.

Enlightened? Great! Take care.

– Tony Terragna

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Ask questions, leave comments.

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A Caricature of Love; Prinze Charming’s Ideal Girlfriend